Pop Culture Wednesday: Shenanigans, Tomf*ckery, and Emo Dudes with No Friends!

You can never truly trust a dude who tries to out cleavage his date...that's a guy that will scroll through your pictures if you leave your phone unlocked on a table...just saying.

You can never truly trust a dude who tries to out cleavage his date…that’s a guy that will scroll through your pictures if you leave your phone unlocked on a table…just saying.

I’ve mentioned a time or two that emoting men aren’t my twist. They aren’t. I can’t STAN for men who possess overt levels of bish-arse-ness. It’s bad for my complexion. When I see men behaving poorly, all across social media while entertaining (I love a drama-ridden hoodfantabulous story like anyone else) I cry thug tears for the death of manhood and wonder if they have friends. It’s not possible that they have friends…at least not good ones. Friends don’t let friends drunk text, Instragram, Facebook, or Tweet. Of this I’m 93.8% positive. Associates, co-signers, yes men, and jock strap riders willingly allow you to make a complete and utter baboon of yourself without regard. It’s sad.

Everyday there’s a new story breaking the internet showcasing a man caught in his feelings, the most dangerous place on earth. It happens to the best of gents. No man is exempt from getting caught off guard by a rat of the hood in disguise. iStruggle heavy with why men are fooled so easily by gold diggers, the heauxs, and other females of ill repute, clearly I acknowledge it happens because of the sad love songs racking my brain from dudes I know. With that said, when you fall out of lust with these chicks, I implore you to avoid spending bitter bish coins. Spending these coins, especially out in the public, only results in two things – looking butt hurt and becoming the new meme of the week. More importantly, if children are involved, you’ve created near indestructible evidence as to why you ain’t shyt, insert sad face emoticon here. This is most evident in a couple short examples that I’ve stumbled across recently.

1. Kayne West’s Breakfast Club interview where he spills utterly unbelievable tea about his ex boothang, Amber Rose, and his present, Kim Kardashian. To be clear I fly no flags for anyone just mentioned. I did however, heart pre 08 Kayne West. Any who he gets on air and wants us to believe Kim forced him to shower no less than 30 times before she would allow him entrance to her lady lumps. I’m not here to count anyone’s cooter miles but I’m pretty sure the free world knows at least 5 people who’ve slept with Kim and there’s video-graphic evidence of her face getting splashed with semen. I calls spades spades and if Kayne needed showers to get excess man prints off his body from Amber, did he make Kim bleach to remove Ray J’s unborn children? It’s clear there’s a certain type of woman (if we’re categorizing) that Kanye prefers and to slut shame one when you have the trump card of whores as your wife seems ridonkulous. Not to mention, Amber left Kanye not the other way round. We know this because he emoted on what some refer to as the best album he’s ever created. Who’s playing the blame game…bottom line he’s a lame.

2. Wiz Khalifa penning a verse on Juicy J’s “For Everybody.” My fave line from his verse is, “…trust me don’t save em’ anything goes…” Tis true, heauxs are for everyone. Claiming one is a liability. But my dude that liability exists pre and post marriage. It doesn’t disappear because you put a ring on it. When you marry someone it would appear to the outside world that you weighed the person’s cons and decided you’re all in. And we assume you STAN for your heaux of choice because you don’t care about her former tramp-like proclivities, if such a thing actually exists. You can’t renege your acceptance of ho-shyt when a ho does what hos do? But yet again, we know Amber left Wiz because of his extra marital indiscretions, so I’m confused and concerned. Just because his emoticons cry, doesn’t justify rapping about how much a whore he thinks his ex-wife is…yet another clown but I don’t expect manliness from a dude who dyes his hair purple.

Did anyone else notice the Amber Rose theme…iDigress!

Hurt people hurt people. We know this to be the case but both of these men need more folk. And by more folk I mean a real friends, gents who are holding onto secrets so intimate Wiz and Kanye haven’t even confessed them to their holy men. Those types of friends can’t be bought and will always remind you that your behavior is a direct reflection of you, not the person you’re attempting to shade. And furthermore men shouldn’t do shade. It’s really kind of a feminine thing. Sorry gents it just is, along with sub-tweeting and any other subliminal type of shot. If Kanye thinks Amber is a dirty little whore he should be man enough to say that to her face. Something…anything less public, especially when his motivation to slut shame was a backhanded way to gain brownie points with his wife whose pretty much Amber Rose with a different hairstyle. In Wiz’ case I’m 86.9% positive he and Amber still have each other’s numbers so if he felt some type after her Trinidadian Instagram twerk show, she was only a phone call away. Was she petty? Hell yeah but you don’t ever stoop to the level of petty people, if so there will be two fools in a room instead of one.

Ninjas talk more than bishes these days…from one emo dude to the rest of y’all please stop running your mouths like women. At least that’s my take on Drake’s verse. It’s a struggle out here on these streets. Overtly Emoting Men are running rampant, almost like dating a chick without boobs and really what fun is that? But I digress, what do you think about throwing shade on an ex-boothang post break-up? Do you think it is appropriate for men or women to bait one another on social media? Has social media become our new water cooler gossip location? Are celebrities doing too much on the innawebs? Speak on it in the comments Lovelies and as always to share is to care and hashish.

Side note: The absolute best emo man song that I can’t deny knocks, Big Sean’s IDFWU. Clearly he does care though or else there wouldn’t be this musical ratchet masterpiece.

2 Responses to “Pop Culture Wednesday: Shenanigans, Tomf*ckery, and Emo Dudes with No Friends!”
  1. Holli says:

    Smart, funny, and on point as always. I’m pretty sure Kanye’s next masterpiece will come when he realizes he jumped out of the frying pan into hell fire! Glad you’re back!

    • Faith M. says:

      LOL I love the imagery of him jumping into a Hell Fire from a frying pan. Men are funny creatures but I wish they would stop behaving like females…I get it everyone wants to be in touch with his feminine side but yeah if I wanted to date a female I would. I don’t want a cave man either, maybe I’m asking for too much…

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