Pop Culture Wednesday: Converting Heauxs to Housewives

Every thot has a shelf life…

Every thot has a shelf life…

I’ve always struggled with the definition of a heaux. What is it that makes someone undeniably a heaux? And if being one is such a negative thing why are men scooping them up at such frantic rates? I’ve always been of the opinion that a heaux is just a housewife that’s slid down…a pole once or twice. Word? Word! I could be oversimplifying the situation. Any who after indulging in the ratchet masterpiece that is Slamdunk Skeezers Basketball Wives LA it dawned on me that every heaux is a housewife in the making.

Bounce with me now, if you’re up to date on the shenanigans and tomfuckery you are well aware of the accusation of heaux-ness in the air when Draya walks on set. Some call this hate but I call it the changing of the guard. I say that because Sundy, over the hill thot that she is, vehemently shades Draya for no other reason besides Draya is what Sundy used to be. I challenge anyone who uses her body as her sole asset to know her expiration date, that hashish is real important in the game called life. Sundy is a few years past her freshness seal sans trapped baller and it hurts her on the inside to see someone in her prime, hence the low grade and overt disrespect of Draya, the self-reforming heaux. In Draya’s own words she’s 30 now and wearing panties. Because of this reforming she’s now in a relationship and shyt. There’s hope out here for the future.

That’s the whole point of this heaux life space, the trap. Jacki Christie was smart enough to beat her man into submission and now he’s so abused he doesn’t even realize it anymore. She snagged Doug in her prime and now she can rock out in her old age in the comforts of a lavish life. Sundy is not that fortunate, hence the bitter bish coins. She missed the step in heaux conversion to housewife. As Draya mentioned, at some point you must put on panties. Sundy bypassed the panty step and now she’s an old thot with teenage children and no man. I could be wrong. But seriously it’s not like men don’t indeed like women of ill repute, look at all the wives who were once that groupie bish that was at every party. There is someone for everyone and as I’ve always said men suffer from a thing called dating cognitive dissonance. One man’s smash and dash is another’s wife. They only claim they don’t love these heauxs.

And I see nothing wrong with this really; I’d just prefer we rid ourselves of the meaningless title. I mean is calling someone a heaux an insult? When men throw the moniker around what exactly are they referring to? Are they attacking the number of men a woman has slept with in her lifetime? The types of activity she’s engaged? What does it make the men who sleep with women they deem heauxs? I mean if you think a chick is a gutter bish but you decide to smash and/or wife doesn’t this make you a lover of said heauxs? I can’t call it but I will say I’m concerned and confused.

Not that I’m calling Draya or anyone else a heaux per se. I know not where their puccis lied! I don’t count cooter miles, it’s unbecoming a lady. What I do know is you get them how you keep them or you lose them how you get them, however that old wives tale goes. If you been ‘round these parts before you know I define heaux as someone who knowingly slide slide slippity slides with someone committed to another. I have no real evidence if Draya fits the bill, but I have a strong inclination that at some point on Draya’s road to football player girlfriend she’s left some wives, girlfriends, one night jump-offs burned. Because of this she’s way in her feelings about the potential demise of her own relationship. You know because she’s in love and hashish. She has a classic case of not being able to take what she’s given. Somewhere there’s a tiny violin playing for cablasian girl problems.

On top of that her “friends” aren’t exactly helping her situation. With friends like hers she really doesn’t need enemies. Instead of Jacki inviting Draya for a one-on-one conversation about Draya’s boyfriends’ possible indiscretions with Jacki’s daughter, Jacki invites the bitter bish posse and Malaysia. Someone please call 911. I give it to Draya she held most of her composure until the text message evidence was thrown in her lap. And here goes a lesson to you gents, always get ahead of the story. Given the tendency for women to accept and forgive fuckshyt save yourself the grief and tell her about it before her “friends” smirk at her discomfort. No woman likes another bish to have an upper hand in her relationship so my dude please please please make it a point to forgo your tried and true lies of omission. Try a little truth, it feels better. This whole thing wouldn’t be so bad if Sundy wasn’t there with an impish grin on her face watching devilishly as Draya’s house of cards began to crumble. Messy bishes irk my soul.

So the moral to this story, there really isn’t one folks. I watch ratchet TV because its mindless entertainment that doesn’t require me to think. I don’t believe men when they claim they don’t like heauxs and would never marry one, those are the same ones checking for the Draya’s of the world. iStruggle with the term heaux because a saint is just a sinner who fell down. We all fall short of the ideal so try a little tenderness. Just saying. But what says you Lovelies, what are your running thoughts on the rats of the hood? Do you think that one man’s smash and dash is another man’s wife? How do you define heaux? Is the man who sleeps with and marries said heaux, in fact a heaux himself? Or in marriage does a heaux lose her stripes? I’m curious and hashish. Speak on it in the comments, as always to share is to care and hashish.

One Response to “Pop Culture Wednesday: Converting Heauxs to Housewives”
  1. iamdashsr says:

    Nothing of real merit to add… but just wanted to let you know I busted out laughing when I read “cooter miles” #carryon can’t wait to see what else in on your mind in the next instalment.

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