Pop Culture Friday: I Am The One Who Knocks! – What I’ve Learned 4 Seasons into Breaking Bad

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!!!  Yasssssss Bish Yaaaaassssssss!

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!!! Yasssssss Bish Yaaaaassssssss!

During The Walking Dead mid season hiatus My Present and I needed to fill our television space with something equally satisfying. Since I typically consume mindless mayhem and tomfoolery and he prefers his tv watching experience to involve a ball, we rarely meet in the middle. The Walking Dead is our middle. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t love a zombie apocalypse? Since the virus zombie is in remission, My Present and I stole borrowed my brother’s Netflix and started watching Breaking Bad. Might I add I’m not a fan of the thievery but I needs Walter White in my life. Tearfully it’s almost run it’s full course. At four seasons in I’ve realized that Breaking Bad is more than just a television show about a terminally ill chemistry teacher cooking meth. As the great poet laureate Meek Mills said, there’s levels to this shyt.

Breaking Bad has taught me a number of things:

What I Learned in High School Might Have Real World Application

Bumper Stickers trumpet high school’s failure to prepare students for the real world and to some extent this might be the truest truth. High school never taught me that lecherous Sallie Mae sucks the life-blood from bank accounts and that it’s going to stay that way for 20 years. No one ever walks off the podium from high school graduation into the boardroom of a fortune 500 company. Nope! Never! But you know what high school might teach you if you paid attention in Chemistry, how to cook the purest meth this side of the equator. Yes yes yes Walter White and his bunsen burners cooked up the blue…and the blue is pure. So pure that certified chemist were shocked and amazed. Granted cooking meth should not be a feat worth striving for but then again maybe it is. Until watching Breaking Bad I thought meth only came in one form, clear…or cloudy clear but never ever blue. Yeah Chemistry is a bad mamma jamma.

When You Continuously Break the Law You Need a CRI-MI-NAL Attorney

If illegal enterprise becomes your bread and butter finding someone sufficiently criminal while also quite competent will definitely work in your favor especially if you’re wading from the shallow to the deep end of the illegal pool. Squabbles with law enforcement will happen so it behooves you to employ someone who speaks legalese who also gets paid to lie. However be mindful that this person is also a grimy arse gutter monkey, hence the CRIMINAL in his/her title. It only benefits you to become the attorney’s most valued client because at the first sign of trouble (not from law enforcement but from other more seasoned criminals in the upper echelons of criminal-dom) your lawyer can and will (most likely) sell you out. If not he/she will provide you with a card for a guy who disappears folk for a fee of no lower than 150K. Crime pays but it also costs, surround yourself with the best team.

Marry for Smarts not Looks

If ever there were a lesson to be learned from watching a seemingly boring chemistry teacher become terminally ill and decide to start cooking meth – smart people always win. If you happen to be on the losing end of the intelligence lottery try to hitch your cart to the smartest wagon leaving the barn. Walt may not be much to look at and I’m 83.6% positive he hit Skyler with the lazy doodle for many years of their marriage but he more than made up for that in sheer brainpower enabling him to create a methamphetamine masterpiece. And that masterpiece led to cold hard cash! #imrichbitch

Keep Your Ego in Check

Danger is an integral part of being a drug dealer. Of this I’m 92.8% certain. However many of the close to death situations Walter and Jesse find themselves tangled have more to do with Walter’s inability to check his ego at the door. Arrogance corrodes your judgment and may or may not lead to your brother-in-law sitting in a Craftmatic adjustable bed playing with minerals all day.

Be the Best…It Makes Killing Your Harder

Following one of the largest recessions in recent history this should come as no surprise that most people are replaceable. Your job – become the best so replacement isn’t an option. Make your business partners think twice before pulling the trigger…literally. I haven’t the fingers for the amount of times Gus wanted to physically assault Walter but, Walt continues to live to see another day. The same cannot be said for Gail and the nameless Latino gent who served as Mike’s muscle. I really miss him.

It’s Not Only About What You Know But More About Who You Know

The old adage never rang truer, it isn’t what you know…it’s who you know. Life is so often about the people that you meet when you’re walking down the street. Or in Walt’s case the people that you stalk home following a stakeout in your brother-in-law’s DEA issued SUV after you learn you’re dying of cancer. That “chance” meeting led to Walt’s transformation into Heisenberg. Had it not been for Jesse and his low level drug dealing connections Walt’s blue meth enterprise would not exist. I’m almost positive the parent teacher association at the high school wasn’t putting out how to meet a top level drug distributor pamphlets so there was no way for Walt’s business to get off the ground. Granted Jesse’s connections led to a hit on Walt’s life issued by the Mexican Cartel but that was bound to happen given their chosen business. All I have to say is work your network and your network will work for you.

Lovelies I learn so much from Breaking Bad. After every episode I think under what circumstances would I be willing to ride or die like Skylar. The Present holds a warped sense of female intentions and truly believes after counting the coins I’d stick around until the ish gets real. But what says you Lovelies, what have you learned from Breaking Bad? Or any other television watching obsession? As always to share is to care and hashish.

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