It’s My House & I Live Here Fridays: Moving is Hard Work

I file this under hashish happens...

I file this under hashish happens…

Believe it or not the packing of it all was the easiest part of joining forces with My Present. Up to the final walk thru I wasn’t excited. Let me rephrase I was anxious wondering about the possibilities of co-habitation but never the butterflies in the stomach excitement expected when making the move of a lifetime. To be honest it felt more like someone ripped the last piece of Faith carpet from under my feet and threw me into a vat of extra cold water…jarring. Despite those unnerving feelings, which I categorize as the Faith of Old, I stayed the course, mostly because My Present overwhelmed my un-eased mind with good day sunshine vibrations. His glass is always half full and while I understand that line of thinking I don’t subscribe to it. I’m a realist who knows more often than not anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It makes me extra successful in my chosen profession but sometimes risk aversion tactics don’t always yield tangible results when dealing with emoticons. As smart as I think I am, arrogant much, this still baffles me. Feelings have no rhyme or reason they just are…I am troubled but I press on.

When anxiety creeps, which it often does in uncharted emotional waters I lean on the abilities that have gotten me this far in life, basically The Faith of Old. She’s a resourceful bish. Once the whole we’re moving together conversation ended with a yes I switched into let’s get this done mode. This mode does not feel. It simply develops the road of least resistance to get to the finish line. Essentially it turns a situation cold, creates a job instead of a journey. And while many times that is exactly what is necessary to get er done efficiently it only works if the co-pilot shares your philosophy. Please note the glass is half full philosophy My Present employs. Instead of following his let it come to you approach I took the reigns.

Task one in the job of securing a place for us to call home was just that securing a place. In between work work I dabbled in the Craigslist, Apartment Finder, Zillow of it all, which will become a fulltime job if you allow it. I haven’t enough fingers and toes for the number of places we saw scattered throughout the city before we landed on our South Philly row home on the cusp of Graduate Hospital/Center City/The Hood. Its selection was a true compromise, a testament to our ability to forgo the selfish and think about what’s best for one another. It’s not easy. For me, it meant giving up my true Center City digs with great nightlife and most of all freedom. If you’re late to the program the notion of freedom will be a recurring theme. We selected a place with 2 bedrooms and 1 ½ baths. It’s perfect because it includes an enclosed backyard with storage shed. Guy stuff goes there and on top of all of that a finished basement which works perfectly as a man cave/laundry room. As My Present likes to remind me we have so much space for “activities.”

By the time the whirlwind back and forth of finding a place that combined our sensibilities wore off we switched to what things should we keep. There was no time to be giddy because I had to think about what items I’d accumulated no longer made sense in my new life. How’s that for disappearing Old Faith. It’s hard to look at where you are and think it’s not good enough for where you’re going. And even though practical me understands that emotions aren’t always lock step with rational thinking it took so much of me to trump my doubts with budding feelings of excitement. In addition when you’re surrounded by folk telling you how to feel or that this is the most exciting time of your life it makes you question the authenticity of what you’re actually feeling.

In spite of my doubts, I thrashed forward throwing my uneasiness by the dock of the bay and focused on the task at hand. My Present there every step of the way reaffirming our decision to join forces, us against the world right? Right! It’s something we say to one another to remind us that life will happen but there is no force greater than us together. I find comfort there and still it unsettles me a smidge. Despite my preoccupation with losing myself, finding ways to repurpose my belongings heightened my excitement. It made me realize that moving in with My Present didn’t mean giving up everything that made me…me. In theory the sharing and caring of it all should usurp my bits of lost freedom. Embracing this notion remains a work in progress yet I push forward recognizing that I’m able to modify not trash Old Faith. Unpacking our stuff I smiled watching my living room end tables transition to toy and reading tables for My Present’s Gift. More of my anxiety lifted as we unpacked the rest of our belongings and found suitable places in our new space.

Now we’re moved in. I wouldn’t say settled but unpacked. I’m still on edge…an excited edge but edge nonetheless. It’s both amazing and frightening to share space with another person. More than anything I wonder if I will be able to quell Old Faith, keep her from rising to the surface making me question the decisions I’ve made that are changing the face of my future. Like I said packing the boxes and loading the truck was easy, all the hard stuff starts now…

But what says you Lovelies, what war stories do you have to tell about moving in with your significant other? Speak on it in the comments and as always to share is to care and hashish!

One Response to “It’s My House & I Live Here Fridays: Moving is Hard Work”
  1. Firstly, paragraph 2. Lawd. Yes.
    Secondly, thank you for spelling ‘reign’ correctly because any # of folks have decided the g is unnecessary these last few weeks.
    Thirdly, paragraph 6 is my present. The Beau & I are looking at this shacking up concept. I’ve done it before but it wasn’t done right & the whole things makes me nervous as hell. I have all the concerns & fears you had/have & more. I didn’t have all these feelings before.

    The only other time I felt strongly about moving with a man was the 1st time in my young adult life this came up. The houses he took me to look at were in a part of town I didn’t even know existed. It was far from everything I did & everyone I loved. The kind of far where your friends don’t visit & getting to see them becomes a chore. I got real nervous & backed out. Thank God. Ironically, many, many moons later, he lives upstairs from me, but that ain’t got nothin’ to do w/high rent & cohabitation. So, I’m back in growed up mode & tryna figure out the next step. Thanks for doing some of it for me.

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