Monday Ranting: No Country for Emoting Men

Maybe inside of all men there is a tiny crying baby - I just don't wanna see it.

Maybe inside of all men there is a tiny crying baby – I just don’t wanna see it.

This past week I had the pleasure of kicking the actual factuals with The Best & Model Friend. Although the conversations were different in format, their content boiled down to men, or in these cases men and their outward displays of bish-arse-ness. Don’t shoot the messenger. The Best Friend theorizes that the rise in women led households while creating men who are sensitive has also helped to concoct a hyper feminized modern man. I’m not sure I fully subscribe to this theory but I do know that the gents I encounter today rarely if ever remind me of the Man Wander Married. This is both a good and bad thing at the same damn time. Model Friend while not spitting nary a thought on the rise of the feminized man, hit me with a recent FB interaction with a guy which automatically triggered he’s a kitchen bish comments in my head…which may or may not have trickled out of my mouth. We all fall short of the glory!

Let me be clear, part of the reason I’m even able to semi subscribe to the notion that some of today’s men are feminized is because I may or may not consign uckshyt rules of manhood. I’m a product of an effed up society that doesn’t allow men full use of all of their emotions without looking at them suspiciously. How you doing in my Wendy Williams voice! Keeping it 100, it wasn’t until recently that I stopped side eyeing any man who sent emoticons via text; I reserved that behavior exclusively for the girls, and the girls that are the boys, heeeeeyyyyy! Am I an island of one? Me thinks not because so many females that I talk to are quick to tell a guy to man up – whatever that actually means, or throw shade at a dude acting anything less than manly. But the true question becomes, what is masculinity and ultimately what does it mean to be a man? It cannot simply be defined as having working peen because we all know a working vag does not a woman make.

Merriam Webster defines masculinity as having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man. The meat and potatoes of this definition are found in the word appropriate. Appropriate referring to what is suitable, fitting, or deemed proper for a man. Color me old fashion but I dislike emoting men. It isn’t acceptable for an adult man to throw temper tantrums, withhold the peen in anger, rage, pout, Facebook rant and/or behave passive aggressively. Alladis is reserved for the girls, for right or for wrong. And while I may give a pass if the brown licka induces this level of feminized hysteria know there is no country for emoting arse dudes. Said behavior may or may not result in me calling you a sloppy heaux and iHates referring to men by derogatory terms reserved for womenfolk but I will do it. Word? Word! Be mindful that tears and tantrums are reserved for toddlers.

Shall I give an example of the tomfuckery playing out here on these streets…I will thanks kindly. When Model Friend calls instead of texting I know her blood is boiled. So when I saw her picture on my iPhone I knew it was serious. After some general salutations she full on ranted for no less than 3 minutes about a kitchen bish move by a gent I know loosely but she calls friend. It boils to this; he made a sappy declaration of love for his Current on FaceBook, the place where all public relationships go to die. But anyways he did this. And with that level of sap oozing from his pores akin to a maple during syrup season, it was only right for Model Friend to rib a little for hashish and giggles. For reasons unknown to me, most likely girlfriend insecurity, said gent decided to direct message Model Friend spouting nonsense about disrespect. As if that wasn’t enough bish-arse-ness he proceeded to post an ALL CAPS FB status indirectly referring to the situation…clearly he’s no true internet thug or he would have @Model Friend. Cyber thug-gery is real.

Granted this situation in and of itself is not serious, I mean who doesn’t subliminally FB post, oh I know men. Model Friend’s blood wasn’t boiled because of the “perceived disrespect” but the whole notion that a man, a red blooded American man with descended testicles and everything would actually inbox message and passive aggressively threaten un-friending over a joke. As I mentioned before the Gent and Model Friend are friends in real life, not the make believe world created online. Am I wrong to believe a man would have approached the situation differently? Hell, am I wrong to expect a man to approach the situation differently?

If you ask me, his behavior speaks to The Best Friend’s premise that men are adopting some female modus operandi, and I don’t like it. Here’s the thing, maybe he did feel disrespected by the joke. Methinks this is highly unlikely but hell even a dog’s bum catches sunlight a time or two. When I’m caught in my feelings I don’t lash out like a child I confront the person and speak to him or her directly about the disrespect in question. This is something I learned specifically from The Man Wander Married and saw employed more often by men than women therefore my mind associates being direct with manhood. No pouting and subliminal messages, direct communication addressing issues head on with no muss or fuss. Not that all women dabble in hyper sensitivity but that many women provide chasers while men give it to you straight. For better or for worse people expect that women are the more emotional of the bunch and rightfully so with hormones constantly swirling, last I checked men don’t ovulate and testosterone produces aggression not tears.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for some caveman with no emotional barometer but I do want men to behave like men. I like to think of it as staying in your lane, just as men want women to stay in ours I would ask they do the same. None of this feminized type behavior because quite honestly it makes me uncomfortable about my skin. I’m sick of men gossiping, talking about people’s looks and/or clothing choices, posting subliminal Instagram pictures, ranting on Facebook, throwing temper tantrums, and/or showing poor impulse control. But what says you Lovelies, speak on it in the comments is there any validity to The Best Friend’s premise? Have you noticed an increase in emoting men? Am I old fashioned in my thinking? Please point out the error in my ways and as always to share is to care and hashish!

2 Responses to “Monday Ranting: No Country for Emoting Men”
  1. Mai says:

    I hate “bitchassness” 🙂 awesome post!!

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