Monday Ranting: Chicks in Relationships with Single Men

Bitter bishes will always co-sign when a friend gripes a relationship she was never in...

Bitter bishes will always co-sign when a friend gripes about a relationship she was never in…

While it may seem that I go hard in the paint against wayward dating & mating men. Trust I keep equal amounts of snark for delusional chicks. Nothing agitates my colon more than a female in a relationship with a single man. Isn’t it ironic…dontcha think? I had an Alanis Morissette moment forgive my derail. Any who, some of the things that bother me about dating & mating, females who make assumptions based on having secks and the inability for chicks who are adults in age to have adult conversation. And no I’m not taking about just the tip games, I’m talking about expressing oneself in a way that plainly outlines what she needs, expects, and wants out of a relationship. On its face it doesn’t seem too difficult however I’ve come to learn that being an adult in age says nothing about one’s ability to behave as an actual adult.

Contrary to popular belief reconciling one’s feelings with one’s thoughts is a difficult exercise, one that many people rarely master. Thinking requires more energy and humans are naturally inclined to take the road of least resistance hence chicks caught up in their feelings. Females definitely take this concept to its highest level in the world o’ dating & mating. This leads to unfortunate misunderstandings and the possibility of said delusional chick carving her name into said man’s leather seats. Word? Word! Emoticons run hot and hashish.

Something like this usually happens:

  • Boy meets girl at the neighborhood coffee shop.
  • After some flirty words back, back, back, and forth the two exchange numbers.
  • They swap the requisite texts and phone calls and eventually go out on a date.
  • Date goes well and they both enjoy each other’s company.
  • On the winner, winner, chicken dinner date numero tres, smanging takes place.

This is where Boy and Girl’s perception of the relationship move in opposite directions. Please be mindful that perception is reality to the person perceiving. Up to the smang both thought they were dating. Dating being defined as seeing each other, chilling, going out and hashish with no expectation of exclusivity. Unfortunately the smang convinces Girl a monogamous partnership converged following the O face…o___0! Is there an emoticon for the record screeching to a halt? In Boy’s mind they are cool, still kicking it, and most definitely not exclusive. As a matter of fact Boy probably texted his other heaux while Girl was in the shower. Not that there’s anything wrong with that because Boy and Girl aren’t together.

I know I know this goes against all the chick rules of dating & mating. Let this post serve as an update to that ill-conceived advice. Secks does not love make ladies, if this is the first time you’re hearing it, I’d suggest you commit it to memory. Secks does not love make, it also does not morph a you and I, into a we. Shall I proceed…I will. Unless Boy and Girl have an actual conversation about where they are in the dating & mating process pre or post smang, y’all still just dating. Oh wait dating with an expectation of smanging from the smang forward. Point.Blank.Period! It bothers me that chicks assume mattress aerobics replaces conversation. If you’re too scared of rejection to open your mouth than maybe you should keep your mouth closed to other activities…I’m just saying.

Here’s the special sauce, women unlike men never really learn the fine art of rejection. As such women are troubled by the notion that a man afforded the ultimate admission doesn’t want her. Therefore if by some chance the relationship conversation does take place and Boy in very clear words states he is not looking for a relationship, Girl will not understand this. Remember how one feels typically trumps what one thinks. She will not understand it so much she will derive boyfriend behavior from typical selfish male actions. For instance, even if Boy explicitly rebukes all things relationship with his words he will definitely make himself available each and every time you allow invasions of vaghistan, if you’re cooking him dinner or providing any type of pastry dessert option, willing to pay his cell phone bill, and/or picking up his dry cleaning. None of this makes you his girl. I’m sorry ladies, it just doesn’t. What it does make you is his extra special thirsty friend who also lets him smash. He will definitely tell you he cares about you, you’re special, he may even tell you he loves you but what he won’t call you is his Present, his Wifey, his Girl, his Boo-thang or any other colorful euphemism that equates to the woman he presents to his mom. I’m sorry to break it to you like this but the truth is a hard arse pill to swallow.

Not that I agree with any behavior Boy displays post coitus but I do recognize that assumptions tend to make arses out of you. If a man has not articulated that he is looking for a relationship, no matter what he allows you to do for him, he absolutely is not interested in a relationship. No it doesn’t matter what pucci tricks you picked up in Lady’s Twerk video because unless a man is ready to claim you there is nothing you can do to force his hand. Further going bat shyt crazy will entice him, because men are incredibly attracted to dramatic arse females, but it definitely won’t keep him. Big girl panties ladies, if you’re doing adult things be prepared to have adult conversations. Tell him exactly what you need, what you expect, and what you want. And further be prepared to drop off a man by the dock of the bay. If a man’s path does not align with yours don’t try to change it. You are better served leaving his dusty self at the corner and finding another. Despite what the blogs may have you believe men are not limited commodities.

But what says you Lovelies, what dating & mating habits of the ladies drive you up wall? Do you think women assume relationships occur post the smang? Do you feel like women have trouble accepting non-exclusive dating post coitus? Speak on it in the comments, as always to share is to care and hashish!

2 Responses to “Monday Ranting: Chicks in Relationships with Single Men”
  1. *Yoles* says:

    imo women let their toto’s speak for their heart… you dont have sex to show someone you love them ladies or hell that you want to be exclusive, men and some other women don’t think like that and since women that do the above are the ones always getting hurt they are the ones that need to catch up with the times…

    • Faith M. says:

      Indeed I am in total agreement. Some chicks are hip to the game but there are far too many out here unschooled so to speak. Which leaves me listening to stories about how guys are doing chicks wrong and half the time it’s because women are making assumptions about behavior instead of opening their mouths and having conversation. Or denying what’s right in front of their faces, men tell and show women in so many ways their true intentions, it’s up to chicks to believe gents the first time. “This is a cold war we’re fighting…”

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