Pop Culture Wednesdays: When Dating & Mating Hits an Awkward Peak

Sort of speaks for itself...

Sort of speaks for itself…

Somewhere I read that when you’re falling in love with someone there’s a part of your brain that makes you crave to spend time, basically every single waking moment, with your significant other. At no time during the manic period also known as the honeymoon phase do you think you’ll hit a bump in the blissful road that invokes the WTF face. The WTF face isn’t inherently bad but how it’s resolved speaks volumes to the sustainability of the relationship. Some of these divots are comical while others may be the beginning of the end of fantabulousness you’ve started to fashion with your Present. One never knows at the time of the kafuffle if it signifies the beginning of the end but as they say hindsight is 20/20. The absolute key to sliding semi gracefully through the WTF moment is open and honest communication.

Ex Boo Thangs Invading a Happy Home

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your outlook on life most of us have a past. Sometimes the past involves an arsehole Spaniard with unhealthy financial ties to the Arab world, but let’s not get into a battle of whose ex is the worst right now. Ok? Ok! Regardless of how easy breezy one is exes conjure up a whole myriad of feelings in a new couple’s relationship life space. Nothing sets the stage for a potential night of un-fun conversation like running into your ex while with your Present. Already the Present has been sizing himself/herself up against your excursion in insanity, also known as your ex, from conversation you’ve shared about said person but now here he/she is in Technicolor. Tomfuckery may ensue. My advice, keep it short. Let’s not get into any extended conversation. Keep it light, no need to rehash the steps leading to the break up. And above all else be sure to accurately introduce everyone with no stumbles over titles or names. If hesitation stifles your vocals you may end up with a night long tongue lashing. Exes are the debil!

The I Love You (Too Soon) Bomb

Ain’t love grand? It is and hashish! Who doesn’t want to one day meet that special someone, settle down, and have 2.5 children with a white picket fence. That right there is the stuff that movies are made for and it all starts with the first admission of love uttered at the perfect moment and then sappy ballads play in the background. At least that’s what happens on all those romantic comedies that I’m forced to watch when I entertain my chick friends. Unfortunately two budding love bugs aren’t always at the same stop on the love train at the same time. Sometimes one takes the express train to lover’s lane and blurts out an ill timed I Love You far too quickly causing a blip on the Richter scale and a total WTF dating and mating moment.

In this moment not only is the I Love You-er devastated by the realization that he/she just blurted out the forbidden words that can’t be unspoken he/she is equally distressed that the I Love You-ee is unable to reciprocate the emoticon. BBM Sad Face! Egos are fragile and no matter what end of this misdirected well intentioned but ill executed love admissions you stand it must be handled with care. Trust the I Love You-er definitely isn’t prepared to hear, crickets or Thank You. In the moment the I Love You-er simply wants to crawl underneath the largest rock and hide for decades and the I Love You-ee wants to fly like a bird and fly far far away from there. Unfortunately none of those two things are viable options and it is oh so necessary for the I Love You-ee to effectively communicate the emoticons he/she does feel for the I Love You-er. Even if those feelings haven’t yet progressed to the Love just yet don’t totally crumble the possibility. Unless you’re absolutely sure that this is a fly by night fling and in that case it’s time to begin the slow dismount from couple-dome. Sometimes those be the breaks. Love is a tricky emotion and hashish. Agreed? Agreed!

The Infamous Mood Killing Question

Nothing is more awkward than rolling, dismounting, standing up whatever after segsi-time to a man who says; did you reach la petite mort? While I do recognize the need in the moment to have instant gratification there is no worse time to ask this question than directly following the secks. As a slight dating & mating rule of Snarks, secks questions surrounding performance need presence of mind away from the event and should be had on neutral ground sans pressure. As I mentioned earlier this week by nature most women are pleasers who cringe at the notion of making another feel bad. Coupled with the fragile male ego and here you’ve whipped up a recipe for lies, fairytales, and fallacies. It’s a dish best served cold.

Anywho the awkward meter is hella high on both sides. I know I know the craving to know if one enjoyed it, did one last long enough, should we try another round are swirling swirling swirling with the exception of the third none of these should be asked at that moment and here’s why. The responses will be overly critical or highly inflated. If you happen to land on the overly critical side insert the fragile male ego and total awkwardness will ensue and inflation will only lead to repeated subpar performances. Everyone loses.

Of course dating and mating awkwardness may be as uncomfortable yet comical as passing gas, devastating in the moment but a total couple right of passage. Lovelies I’m positive I’ve missed some dating & mating awkward. Speak on it in the comments, as always to share is to care and hashish!

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