Monday Ranting: To Menage or not to Menage ‘Tis the Question

Oh this isn't the three-way you were talking apologies.  Theory and application are not always one in the same, go figure!

Oh this isn’t the three-way you were talking about…my apologies. Theory and application are not always one in the same, go figure!

Without a doubt the most frequent secksual question I’m asked by straight men and bi curious women alike is, would you be willing to have a three some. I’ve been told this is the holy grail of the straight male fantasy life space. Of all the men I’ve dated, friended (why isn’t this a word yet), or known casually it seems to be the party to end all parties. Two is better than one me thinks! Sadly, the men I know who’ve run this race are few and far between, maybe I know lames. iShrug! Given the underlying female urge to make others happy and the no less than 5 chicks I know for sure that are ‘bout that life, iStruggle with why so many dudes are left by the fantasy proverbial dock of the bay, maybe I know heauxs, me no know.

Before I go any further I am speaking as one woman not for women. iCan’t and iWon’t pretend to know every chicks inner freak shyt.

Speaking for myself and maybe some others in the audience, I don’t find women secksually attractive so the notion of taking one down doesn’t interest me. Surprising to some man friends of mine because I comment religiously on the beauty of the girls, chicks are haute. From a looks standpoint women are prettier than men. That’s just truth. There’s a huge difference however between recognizing someone’s visually appealing and being attracted to her. Contrary to popular belief these two things aren’t synonyms. Because I appreciate female beauty, current girl crush is Kerry Washington; this has led many a suitor to question my inability to fully co-sign the three-way. I’m just not about that life. Generally speaking I feel I’m part of the minority…I could be wrong, yo no se.

If I’m truly honest with you Lovelies I view three ways as an approval to cheat. My participation in a ménage would be a hands free affair so it’s basically a free pass for my Present to invade another’s vagistan, controlled cheating if you will. I’d rather my significant other simply ask for a pass recognizing that monogamy in practice is harder than in theory. Not that I’m in agreement with that either but I am about calling spades spades. Some have tried to argue that the three way is for my pleasure as well however since I’m not attracted secksually to women and voyeurism isn’t my twist its highly unlikely that my pleasure’s an integral component of this mix. Instead it is fulfilling a man’s need to engage in OPP.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…exactly and since no man I’ve ever dated, friended, or known casually was comfortable with me or his chick riding the pogo stick of another, for our own personal fantasy if you will, why would I agree to this unbalanced pleasure principal? Not that we should be keeping score about these things, but we need to have some agreed upon footing. If you dip I dip we dip. No? No! Someone once said to me that if he knew I slept with someone else while we were together I’d be dead to him all in the same breath he wanted the three way…it seems what’s good for the gander is not good for the goose. Double standards and hashish! But that’s me.

In theory, the ménage fantasy seems easy enough to make happen. Women typically acquiesce to the secksual whims of men for three reasons, they’re socialized to keep feathers unruffled, they’re thirsty, and/or their secksual appetites are equally freakish. The third requires no explanation…at least I hope not. Side note when I say freak I say that sans judgment, what one does in the comforts of her bedroom, car, parking garage, library…whatever you get my point I’m not here to call names. Additionally I’m not here for thirsty bishes. Saving a heaux ain’t part of my life space. These chicks will do, say, and suck anything to catch, trap, and keep a man. Therefore if said man wants two the hard way Thirsty Bish is the first one to say I’m down for whatever. Right? Right! And since men are expert Thirsty Bish procurers and Golddigger lovers making it happen should be quite easy.

Now onto I Wanna Make You Happy Bish. This poor unfortunate soul drank the kool aid. Not that there’s anything wrong with making others happy. I enjoy smiles as much as the next chick. But let’s be clear, women are socialized to make men happy and stroke egos. This is the same line of thinking that leads to faking the O face. Trust and believe women by design are master deception artists for the greater good. The male ego is oh so fragile. But I digress. In this realm, saying no is not at the top of the list. Even if the answer truly is no to the three way suggestion this chick will be unable to communicate that effectively. Before she knows it she’ll be caught betwixt her man and another chick’s snatch, no situational homo. Not that there’s anything wrong with this but women need to learn the fine art of direct communication with men not innuendo, code, and hidden message talking that we do amongst our own. I’m just saying.

Side note making others happy at the expense of your personal feelings will only lead to verklemptness and resentment. Resentment corrodes even the best relationships.

With those kinds of odds how does one lose? You know how one loses, because men to their detriment talk themselves out of more pucci than they talk themselves into. I say this all the effing time. If there’s one thing a man can do well, its talk himself out of the panties. Word? Word! I have told men this in many colorful euphemisms as to not hurt feelings; you know there is a little part of me that wants to make others happy.

Seriously though getting er done seems relatively easy breezy. If I put any effort into this ratchet I’d confidently complete it before the end of the month. Note the key item I identified earlier, women like to please. However, my dilemma would be the peoples I selected. Given the prevalence of the disease called gossip (and actual disease) I’d want to make sure my downtown bonanza festivities stayed well away from the streets. No one likes wearing a heaux’ clothes.

Well Lovelies, what do you think? What are your thoughts about the three way? Speak on it in the comments. As always to share is to care and hashish!

7 Responses to “Monday Ranting: To Menage or not to Menage ‘Tis the Question”
  1. The threesome is a fantasy for many men. But of course they find the solution with two women more interesting than the one with two men. I think you must be ready to do both if you suggest it to your partner. And the thought is a bit thrilling…. 😉

    • Faith M. says:

      Hey there Eroticzeitgeist, spank you kindly for your comment. Question: Are men really all that sensitive about the three way with another man? I guess I struggle with this because I do know men who have been involved in what some call “trains” or “partying” a chick. This is something that happens between multiple men and one woman. In all actuality this is a threesome or in some cases even more than a three way.

      Of course I know what you’re saying though and I agree wholeheartedly with your thinking. If you want something secksually you should be willing to offer the same to your partner. To share is to care!

  2. *Yoles* says:

    i’ve done them… i like them… i have also had one-on-one sexy times with women so its not a i’ll do it for my man type of thing… actually its a it all about Yolie thing… so far i have been the central figure in my 3somes & since i am a fair and balanced partner that is how it should stay.

    i will say that every man is NOT cut out for them though, it is a lot of work physically and mentally… balancing time and performance, hiding preferences, making sure everyone is involved etc…

    in closing i am an advocate of adults doing whatever they consent to do in the bed as long as it doesn’t involve children or animals

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola Yoles,

      Happy New Year!!!! I could see this being a huuuuuuge struggle for your average gent. Mostly because men are thoroughly exhausted following a single romp does damn near death occur if you add another to the mix, yo no se. I’ve never thought about the mental aspect of this or the whole notion that folks will definitely catch feelings (the girlfriend) if the boytool shows more than expected interest in the added addition. I imagine ground rules are necessary prior to the festivities. How does one stick those in the moment?

      I guess I think about this for myself being more physically attracted to the dark chocolate. If I were faced with two one of fairer skin and one of darker my urge will be to act out naughty things more with the dark one. This is a true inner secksual battlefield.

      Do you think it makes it easier to partake in these festivities because you’re attracted to both the mens and the ladies?

      • *Yoles* says:

        hmmm let me see i have been in some where i was the girlfriend she was the plus one in which there wasn’t any rules set by me he- who was a really great dude for this type of activity- (*pouring out some liquor for that relationship*) set the rule & made it clear that any and all ejaculate was to be “given” to me…

        i have also done the he isn’t my man, he is not her man we all just fvking (i did know her before we all got down) and i set the rules the only one was: everybody go all in and don’t be lazy… he was also ok in that arena, had a lot of potential but he moved out of state

        and as the guest star… i don’t know what rules the couple had but i didn’t see any once i got there…

        i hear that people have rules like i.e. not kissing on the mouth (if i can’t kiss u i aint fvcking u), ejaculate rules (i found that out from that dude who has been partaking in 3somes for some time) and people must take turns (i say go with the flow while being mindful but don’t like it to be so clinical this aint double dutch this is HOT SEX)

        i do think being bisexual makes 3somes much more fun and less about a man’s fantasy and more about mine… sometimes you feel like doing a person with nuts, sometimes you don’t… and combining them for all the things you like and want is like a sex buffet!!!!!

        all in all everyone needs to relax, be prepared to shine, have fun, don’t think too much, enjoy yourself, do what you like and make it memorable… everybody wins

  3. E! says:

    only works if you guys are friends and like to share (the girls I mean)…

Check out what others are saying...
  1. […] and should be had on neutral ground sans pressure. As I mentioned earlier this week by nature most women are pleasers who cringe at the notion of making another feel bad. Coupled with the fragile male ego and here you’ve whipped up a recipe for lies, fairytales, and […]

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