Pop Culture Wednesday: Why Am I Watching Roundball Ratchets LA – Ep 9 & 10

That evil genius Shaunie has pimped the Govans until the wheels fell off and are dropping them and the other non mother effing factors by the waist side for the 3rd season!

First, don’t judge me. For reasons unknown to even myself I have haphazardly been keeping up with Basketball Wives LA. Remember I said not to judge. Any who yesterday I actually took time from my life space, time I will never get back, to watch episodes 9 & 10. Dear God make me a bird so I can fly far far away…yeah that’s pretty much how I felt after watching that hashish. While I always knew Jackie Christy was one flew over the cookoo’s nest I didn’t realize Laura was batting for the same damn team at the same damn time. Word? Word! Man those Govans have some ish with them.

Before I forget, Bambi is an Amazon. I had to sneak that in there in case I accidently on purpose fail to mention it.

Last season I felt Jackie got a raw deal. Granted getting caught playing both sides of the fence with women always leads to tomfuckery. While Jackie did exactly what many women do but claim otherwise she had the unfortunate mishap of getting caught in a large we need to get this out in the open moment. Bottom line it backfired on her but at no time did anyone accuse Jackie of lying. And since she simply repeated words spoken to her in confidence I couldn’t write Jackie off as a lunatic. Is it really her fault that Laura’s heaux tactics jumped out the closet and splish splashed across Gloria’s husband to be? Or was it the other way round…with Gloria bedding Laura’s estranged bedmate. Me no know but what I do know, those Govans share a lot. Sharing is caring, no? No!

Now this season is a whole other ball game. Not only is Jackie at odds with the “ladies” but also her daughters. Side note Jackie ain’t right for hiding her dark skint chunky daughter from us last season. She gets a side eye o___0 for that raggedy shyt. The relationship with her daughters…I am troubled. I’ve always thought Jackie read faker than a three dollar bill…I chalked it up to the camera. However to hear her own children trumpet my thoughts had me singing a whole new song. Not only do they feel she’s fake but an un-motherly mom. That ish right there is way harsh. While they tried desperately to explain why they felt this way, Jackie wasn’t hearing none of that hashish. She basically told them eff ya couch ninja. Sad? Sad!

Shannie was damn near in tears explaining why she felt unloved by her mother. And the other girl, yeah I don’t recall her name, I thought she might haul off and throat chop Jackie. Most mothers I know would have jumped up to hug/embrace their daughters seeing the pain etch across their faces…not Jackie. Because of that I gave credence to the words the girls spoke. Their words washed over Jackie and did nothing but light her defensive spidey senses. Instead of listening and allowing their feelings to register in her mind, body, and soul she took the opportunity to show her entire arse. Not only her entire arse but go ham on their emoticons, claiming they were invalid. Uh Jackie Christie you can’t dictate how someone feels. And seriously if 2 out of your 3 children have this verklemptness about their childhood it’s probably true. No judgment…maybe a little I have issues with poor parenting. As a side note being a parent is greater than your wallet. I imagine her chunky daughter felt deserted while Jackie implored slore strategy to snare Doug Christie.

I swear Jackie put one of them Creole girl hexes on Doug to catch and keep him. When he speaks he sounds sane so their relationship makes my face contort. It’s either a hex or she beats him, pick your poison. Side note those paper bag shenanigans Jackie tried to pull…ridonkulous! I thought we were past this black people?!

Despite the evil deeds occurring in the Christie family, nothing tops the tomfuckery of the Govans. Shaunie is a sinister genius in platform pumps for casting them. Last season’s chumminess didn’t fool me in the least. I knew something was off about their relationship when Gloria didn’t offer sleeping quarters knowing Laura and her 5 kids were crammed in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment. Where they do that at? After Jackie’s revelation it all made perfect sense. Unfortunately Jackie failed to realize just how far up Satan’s bum Laura resides. As a result she is mixed in a shyt cocktail. Laura actually admitted her sole purpose this season is to screw Jackie the way Jackie screwed her. Let me get this right, your sister does a naked tap dance on your fiancé’s pogo stick yet Jackie betrayed you for telling. Something’s fishy and it ain’t the open air fish market in Seattle.

That aside, Laura is evil with a capital E. Who lives to torment another person? As dim witted as I believe Malaysia to be she hit the nail on the effing head, Laura lives to see someone in pain. That is some ole 666 shyt and iCan’t and iWon’t respect a bish that laughs in someone’s face and ferociously stabs a chick in the back as she walks away. Who puts that much energy into hurting another person? I don’t exert any type of energy for random heauxs I don’t like. That gives a random bish too much power over my life space.

On a side note who in the entire hell allowed Jackie Christie to show at NYC Fashion Week? Who told Gloria she’s an actress? Who told Malaysia to wear that Aunt Jemima scarf? I’m gonna need the transcripts! But what says you Lovelies, speak on the tomfuckery, coonery, and buffoonery. As always to share is to care and hashish!

2 Responses to “Pop Culture Wednesday: Why Am I Watching Roundball Ratchets LA – Ep 9 & 10”
  1. Holli says:

    She beats him! Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been watching here and there. I needed something to fill the gap All My Children left.

    • Faith M. says:

      LMAO, it is like the train wreck on the highway you just can’t stand to look away…I’m not judging you because if I do I have to also judge myself.

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