Monday Ranting: The Heaux Matrix Reloaded…

Behind this innocent photo is a scandal that rocked a nation…well really only to those delusional folk who forget that heauxs stay winning!!!

Without a doubt I throws the hooker, heaux, whore, slut, bish moniker around with reckless abandon. I don’t reserve the title simply for the ovary holders in the crowd. It is a title many men, many, many, many, many men own as much if not more than their female counterparts. But I’m always at a loss when asked to define a whore. I mean really, what makes one a heaux? How are we defining the characteristics of the heaux life space? Is it the number of partners? Is it the type of secksual behavior in which she engages? Does the downtown bonanza determine your entrance into the land of the hook-kah?

In its historic context a whore is a promiscuous or immoral woman, which means not restricted to one secksual partner. Word? Word! By definition more than half the female populous loosely falls between these walls. Since the average woman partakes in the fun stick of 5-7 gents by gentleman number 2 she’s already a woman of ill repute. These are some strict standards if I do say so myself…and I do. With odds like that it’s no wonder women falsely deflate their numbers in the hopes of appearing less heaux-like (apply the rule of 3…double standards and hashish). Not that I promote lies of omission but I do understand the compulsion to reduce the number of riders on the bus. This is one of the few times less is more. But if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck…it may just be a duck.

Much like p0rn, that has no concrete definition, the heauxs too are pretty much only known when you see them. For instance I don’t think there’s anyone out here who considers Monica Lewinski anything more than a slut monkey. Now I’m not saying she was wrong (I’m not judging her o__0) but she definitely vacationed in heaux town. Right? Right! I could be mistaken…nah probably not! But this begs the question, had a particular blue dress never surfaced would Monica Lewinski be the heaux of the century? Inquiring minds and hashish! While her actions definitely run pace with the heaux life space, had no one discovered the funky spunk she’d probably be someone’s housewife.

No one knowingly wants to settle down with a current or reformed slut. I’m just saying!

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Unlike the science we possess proving sound occurs regardless of a human’s ability to hear, Monica’s heaux-ness is very much tied to others knowing. I’m just saying, to some extent, heaux-ness is defined not by your actions but by how many of your actions are out here in these streets. In theory if a chick allowed 100 soldiers to invade vaghistan and no one knew the only thing she’d be is tired. I mean while I would call this type of activity whorish due to my own internalized societal/Christian guilt about the secks if I met said chick on the street, and she didn’t disclose her 100 day hump-a-thon how could I proclaim she wears a heaux’ clothes?

Further there is a gender bias when we discuss the heauxs. Note the historical context; whores are promiscuous or immoral “women.” Say what? By all accounts men have more secksual partners than women. Not only do they have more society conditions them to believe that being a man is tied to secksual prowess. Therefore one is not a man if he’s not laying pipe in many homes. Word? Word! That’s just a foul idiotic double standard. Me thinks it ties back to the idea that women of ill repute may end up saddled with babies that men can refuse to acknowledge. Mama’s baby Daddy’s maybe!!! I however indiscriminately apply the moniker whore. Whether you rock slits or sticks means nothing to me. The dude that slays 100 hookers in 100 days is no less a heaux than the woman who beds a 100 gents in 100 days.

Taking this a step further does bedding 100 in 100 days even make one a heaux? Devil’s Advocacy!!! Is that by definition what pushes the tide? How about 30 in 30 days or 15 in 15? Is there a magical number on the belt that converts a housewife to a heaux? I can’t call it. What about 15 over the course of a lifetime or even 30…this could be reasonable under certain circumstances? Right? Right! Consider a person who isn’t married by age 35 who started having the secks at age 20; technically having the secks with 30 folk would only be 2 per year. I’m not saying that’s a little or a lot. I’m just giving perspective. What if one is 35 with 30 notches on her belt with 20 of them occurring during those slutty college years? As we all know college is a dirty place ripe with fall downs and slip ups. Would that taint a woman’s virtue? In most circles her ill repute would be undisputed.

But maybe numbers aren’t the whole story. Does it depend on what secksual activities she participated in during those debauchery laden college days? Trains? Three-somes? Face Shots? Choking? Rimming? Are these measures of kink or signs of a whore? Yo no se! Recently while chillaxing and kicking the actual factuals with a gentleman caller we started down this lane. He mentioned that the difference between a whore and a freak is simple. For arguments sake let’s interchange Freak with Lady. Ladies share their talents selectively while whores live by the sharing is caring mantra. Upon some inspection I have to give this some credence. Not everyone deserves the same service so to speak, at least from a lady’s perspective yet whores share their talents with reckless abandon. For me this is possibly the true defining factor of a whore. Not how many but the number in conjunction with actions shared with each. And since most of that will never be known to me fully, I might wanna stop calling folks heauxs…yeah like that will happen!

Honestly I don’t think there will ever be a consensus on what constitutes a whore. The door needs to be opened fully to men because they are among some of the biggest whores I know. Women shouldn’t be the only scarlet letter wearers, at least to me anyway. But what says you Lovelies how do you define a whore? Please speak on it in the comments. As always to share is to care and hashish!


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