Pop Culture Wednesday – A Heaux in a Dress is Still a Heaux Love & Hip Hop ATL Season Finale Review

No one expects these Zebras to change their stripes so why would we expect anything more from a heaux?

Monday night was a sad night. Mostly because the tomfuckery that turned Monday to Funday is coming to an end. VH1 will replace the shenanigans of ATL with the festivities of LA. Now we know Basketball Hoes Wives LA does not bring the fire! But one thing is for sure, heauxs cannot and will not change their stripes. Monday’s Love & Hip Hop proved this point to the utmost. All season I have been saying that I low key like that heaux, Joseph, but Monday night pushed that low key like to half decent respect. Joseph needs to teach her heaux friend Karlie how to act right and know her place. Karlie works under the guise that she is a real bish. Bottom line, Karlie is a delusional gold digging old tramp.

Don’t hate me Lovelies, Joseline accepts her lot in life. For right or for wrong, Joseline uses what she has to get what she wants. iCan’t and iWon’t fault her. At least she’s honest about her heaux tactics. During the final therapy session with Mimi and Steebie she put the hashish in the air and read them both. I had to say you bets to getcha life Joseph you bets to getcha life! No seriously this is what I said in the quiet of my apartment when she told Mimi of course you accept Steebie cheating on you with me and the rest of the heauxs on his bus. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have stuck around for 15 years. What could Mimi say to that? Truth tramples lies all day EV-Very-DAY! Joseline shit on them in a few short mumble lisped sentences and I loved it. But what I loved more was the fact that she took back control of her mind, body, and soul. She left Steebie in his feelings, stewing in his broken pimp game. Whether she sleeps with him again or not she is doing it on her terms…that’s an honest heaux. You have to respect that.

Buckey and her Hair (shout out to Roxstar for naming her this. iChuckled and will forever refer to Buckey that way.) added a bitter bish coin to her piggy bank. Sad? Sad! Now quiet as it’s kept I have no sympathies for hookers but I’ve been in a semi emotional life space lately so I felt some type of way for Buckey and her Hair. She hit that telltale voice tremble that leads to the ugly cry once alone while talking to Scrappy about his foul behavior. He is a lying bastard. Buckey and her Hair felt compromised and used. Unfortunately she hasn’t realized her lot in life. Her flavor of love is that of the jump off. Someone should send her the cliff notes. She is and will forever be a gutter butt slut monkey that slept with Flava Flav for 15 minutes of fame and Young Scrappy used as a skeet receptacle. Sad? Sad!

In a strange turn of fate, heauxs didn’t win this episode. I will get back to that later. First let us wander down old hooker lane. Karlie Redd will hop on any peen she thinks will take her to the top, insert Roscoe Dash. Funny the only person who believes in her ability to be a pop star is Karlie Redd. Unfortunate? Unfortunate…not really! What she does have going for her are island girl looks, good skin, and a lopsided arse. But that is beside the point. iHurled in my mouth slightly as I watched her bat false lashes at a boy she could have spit out of her cougar cooter. Of course it was proof of the lows heauxs will stoop in pursuit of the coins. Without thought or regard for the budding relationship with the big homie in my head, Benzino, she quickly let Etch-A-Sketch Mohawk know she was ready, willing, and able to pop pop pop it on a handstand. I thought with age came grace and wisdom, clearly this is not what happens to Yamps (young tramps). Yamps simply become old tramps. Sad? Sad! I know what she did with little Roscoe Dash is illegal in at least three states in the union.

Shortly after Roscoe dashed through Karlie’s used and abused box she showered and hit up the club with Benzino. For reasons most perplexing to me Benzino considered marrying this chick. Clearly something off camera must have blurred her scandalous ways. However all of that came to a head during a make shift proposal and I must say iLoved Benzino’s pimp hand. He so delicately dangled the marriage carrot in front of this hooker’s face only to pull it back and walk out like a G. Yes Yes Yes Gawd my insides did a happy dance. The look on that heaux’ face…PRICELESS! And this hooker going to have the chutzpah to say she made Benzino…bye bish please refer to a magazine formerly known as the Source.

My second favorite moment, Mimi finally stepping up and giving Steebie his walking papers. Knowing that it was short lived I won’t even touch on it too much but know his classic Steebie J faces were eclipsed by the WTF bish look. iLaughed…hard! Anywho it was nice to see a dramedy like this end on a positive note for someone other than the heauxs. Even if the celebration was short lived. My Monday nights will never be the same. Lovelies feel free to speak your piece in the comments. As always to share is to care and hashish!

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