Monday Ranting: Everyone’s a Critic…Nappy Hair Don’t Care!!!

If you can’t do this perfectly please don’t throw shade!!!! It only makes you look like the bitter bish that you are.

Over the past week or so I’ve been hardcore into the summer Olympics. For your own good, please get into these athletes. The swimmers bay-bee, have been giving me life. iLive for and iLove male swimmers. In between the meets I watched a little women’s gymnastics and totally fell in love with Team USA. They were twirling and doing all those flippity flop things that tiny women with no body fat do well. I was inspired to get back to my full split ability but anywho these whores who’ve decided that hating on Gabby Douglas is their new profession need to take a whole seat \_. Did I notice the brown gel and multiple hairpins? Hells yeah as the hair vanity queen who personally throws shade on weaves of all shapes, sizes, and colors, oh did I notice! (Not that there aren’t nice weaves out there, they are few and far between.) But what I recognize is none of that hashish matters. Gabby motherfrigging Douglas, this little chickie is shitting on so many people right now nothing but congratulations are due. Keeping it so 100 with you Lovelies, that hate is nothing but bottled jealousy. Bitter bishes always want to pull someone down who’s on top because misery most surely loves company.

Talentless whores with unlimited time on their hands hate because a hollow bottomless pit exists where their dreams were lost. I’m 93.8% positive the majority of the women noticing that Gabby’s hair was less than stellar are the same ones cashing checks on the 1st and the 15th who believe Love & Hip Hop ATL is actually quality programming. They belong to the forgotten tribe of nameless 18inch yaki wearing nothings whose babies will only be famous for twerking on YouTube. They are the future mothers of strippers, heauxs, and sloppy bishes. These yaki wearing banshees have nothing to live for but unnecessary inappropriate outbursts. If not for inappropriate outburst from the victims of after prom smashing who would pay attention to these lowly beasts? No One? Exactly No One! Might I suggest crawling back into the tunnel of poor decisions they call their lives, crabs in a barrel loser arse slut monkeys.

Now quiet as it’s kept that snatch back Gabby was rocking hurt my hair consciousness. It reminded me of the days of old when Jam was a product in everyone’s hair arsenal. However I recognize two things, she’s an effing athlete which comes with a healthy dose of whole body perspiration aka hair killer. And second she lives in a gymnast camp with other gymnast who are…white! I’m about to be slightly prejudice here so close your ears, white folk don’t know NOTHING about black hair short of the “ethnic hair care” aisle in Tar-Jay! Gabby lives with a host family in Iowa. Iowa is code for no Black or Dominican salons. Chile those Dominicans were born with a straightening comb in their hands. But Iowans don’t know N-E-Thing about this black hair care life space. And I don’t expect them to. Nor do the coaches or training staff for gymnasts. And you wanna know why, because they are training Olympians. Serving a luxurious head of thoroughbred Darley Arabian horse is the least of these folks’ worries. The only hair concern is fly-away strands to avoid point deductions, hence the gallon of gel shellacking the follicles into the indestructible snatch back.

Bottom line here haters gone hate. At 16 I was sniffing after a no good dude named Tommy. This was my focus short of graduating with honors. I lacked the discipline to even consider doing something Olympic other than mall roaming. Most 16 year olds and hell most of us adults can only hope to accomplish a quarter of what little Gabby Douglas has accomplished in such a short life. She is to be celebrated. I for one am celebrating not only a victory for the USA but a victory for black women. Gabby is the first black woman to win gold in all around gymnastics. That is some remarkable hashish! At a time when the images of black women are plagued with the likes of Real House Hoes Wives of ATL, Roundball Ratchets Basketball Wives, and Love & Hip Hop Hades ATL we just ought to be glad she’s not a pregnant 16 year old with two babies or crypt walking after a victory. Believe me Lovelies there are many many many things to throw shade at in this world but Gabby “The Flying Squirrel” Douglas isn’t one of them.

But that’s just my two Abe Lincolns. Please Lovelies feel free to speak your piece in the comments. As always to share is to care and hashish!

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Comments
6 Responses to “Monday Ranting: Everyone’s a Critic…Nappy Hair Don’t Care!!!”
  1. courtney says:

    As most black women, I too “noticed” Gabby’s hair……but I didn’t feel inclined to criticize, joke, or ridicule her about it…..instead I felt proud….when I saw the clips and gel lines and mismatched texture between her hair and her ponytail…. I thought “awww…she’s a real black girl”….I was proud!!!! While most of us can’t do a crunch w/o worrying about our roots, Gabby won Gold…and looked beautiful doing it.

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola Courtney,

      Thanks for sharing your piece in my space. I can’t go so far to say I was proud of the hair but I am definitely proud of her accomplishments and wish her nothing but luck in the future. I recognize as an athlete hair is the least of her worries and didn’t feel the need to comment on something so trivial. LOL @”awww…she’s a real black girl.” I’m not sure how to take that comment but it definitely tickled my funny bone.

  2. cardiogirl says:

    Hey chica! I’ve been wondering about this ever since it showed up on Us Magazine. (Yep, that’s where I get my “news.”) Ugh, I don’t get it. I’m a pasty white chick who’s rockin’ a stellar farmer’s tan and I just don’t get what the problem is. To me, her head looks like all of her teammates’ heads — her hair is shellacked back into a bun/ponytail.

    Total side note, this made me laugh out loud: … white folk don’t know NOTHING about black hair short of the “ethnic hair care” aisle in Tar-Jay!

    That’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

    Okay, so this is the only thing I can come up with after reading your post. Do people expect her to have her hair professionally straightened so it’s completely smooth like glass all the way to the root and then throw it up in a ponytail?

    I’m not trying to be a dumbass I just do not understand what the problem is or how her hair was even noticed. Oh! Is it possible to spoonfeed me by posting a link to a photo of what people want her hair to look like?

    Thank you for indulging me — I love you and miss you 🙂

    • Faith M. says:

      Cardiooooooooooooo Girl how the eff are you lady? I say that with Christian love and affection! Side note congrats on the book affair.

      This is going to get lengthy!

      Now I am about to kick the actual factuals to you about blk women but trust this is not 100% fact as much as one blk woman’s opinion. I have to give you a disclaimer because I might lose my blk card for giving out secrets. Anywho like many blk women I know a lot of our conversations, actions, and money revolve around our hair. If we aren’t talking about men we’re talking about hair care. It is just something that is very dominant in the culture. There are camps of women from the must be natural to those who live and die by the relaxer. These discussions can get oh so heated… I have seen some folks lose friendships over it. People are petty. When on a national stage and hell just walking down the damn street we expect our sista girls to look flawless because if they don’t we feel it is a reflection on us all. Mostly because as a minority group we are judged by a few than by the individual. So when/if we see someone in the public eye that doesn’t pass the flawless test folk go apeshyt.

      Now this is not the sole reason for the uproar. Much of reason that Gabby was thrown so much shade had more to do with jealousy. Let me see if I can give a racially neutral example. You know how in high school when the homely girls talk shyt about the popular girls but not because the popular girls are bishes but because the popular girls have what the homely girls want. This is what is happening with Gabby right now. Jealousy! Some people aren’t built to congratulate. Some are miserable wenches who even in the face of greatness must find something to make themselves feel better because they don’t have the spotlight. To me this is bigger reason for the Gabby hair debacle although there is some truth the words I typed earlier.

      So the long answer to your question is yes, a lot of people would have felt better had Gabby thoroughly straightened her hair before the gel and bobby pins. This is possible, it is affectionately called a snatch back. http://www.hairstylepicture.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/african-hairstyle-07.jpg Of course she would have put the tail in the back in a bun or something.

      And I am not above being hair vain. Everyone who knows me knows very well I will not leave the house if my hair is not to my standards. I have fixed my hair in just about anything that gives a reflection. it is that serious to me.

      But anywho here are some links to hair I love. As a side note I wish I could post pics of my friends but I won’t do that. Model Friend and my blogger buddy Aweezy rock short tappered styles that I looooove. Anywho take a whirl into my world of hair. And side note I love blk women and our hair because it’s so versatile.

      • cardiogirl says:

        This is why I love you so much. You break it down and are not offended when I ask for more clarification. When I read this sentence — …we expect our sista girls to look flawless because if they don’t we feel it is a reflection on us all. — I thought wow that’s a lot of pressure.

        But then you followed up with this and it made total sense: Mostly because as a minority group we are judged by a few than by the individual.

        So on to the pictures, thank you for the visual clarification. Now that I’ve looked at the picture of the chick with the high ponytail next to a picture of Gabby I can see that people are talking about the fact that the hair pull back against her head is not completely smooth.

        That still seems so amazing — that people are overlooking her GOLD MEDALS and incredible talent just to say her hair isn’t completely smooth.

        From what I’ve read about Gabby’s response she sees that negative discussion for what it is — nothing noteworthy.

      • Faith M. says:

        I learned a while ago the difference between questions asked out of curiosity and genuine I want to know the answer to this so I am more informed than one that is low key throwing shade my way. I know you’re not one of those people, you genuinely just want to know and I don’t feel any type of way of putting it out there because you are my sister in arms!

        It is sometimes like a pressure cooker to be a black woman. Everyday I walk out of my apartment I try to be on my A game for fear that something I do will have someone else judged. I try not to think about it too much but every now and again it creeps back up my spine. Or someone will say something like oh I thought all black women wore weaves…and then I have hit them with fake smile and politely read them the riot act.

        And side note you have had lesson one in black hair care…the course is long though, LOL!

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