Book of Questions Friday: But I Gotta, Kn-Kn-Kn-Know What-What’s Your Fan-Ta-Ta-Sy

"Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy..."

Friday’s Question from the Book of Question: Love & Sex #5, Would you feel unfaithful if you had frequent sexual daydreams about someone other than your partner? If your partner were having such fantasies, would you want to know about it? Why?

Unfaithful may be too strong a word for a recurrent fantasy. Could be it’s the frequency that’s making the kool-aid sweet. Granted a daydream is a little bit different than an actual dream where you fall asleep and your unconscious mind conjures up an amalgamation of images into a storyline with various starts and stops. This function is uncontrollable and therefore you cannot or at least you should not be held responsible. A fantasy is a little different right, it contains some very true up close and personal things you’d like to have done or do to another person. Of course there may be aspects of your fantasy that are so far off the grid you’d go to your grave denying, that in no way means you aren’t equally aroused by those activities.

If by chance this fantasy stars prior boytools or men I’ve had the chex with in the past I may feel a bit of guilt. Unfaithful, hardly but definitely a little guilt! Equally if the highlight reel plays consistently and with vivid imagery it speaks to my dissatisfaction with my current significant other. If I may share, and I can because this is my house and I live here I rarely if ever fantasize about other men when I’m wrapped up in my boytool of the moment. If my Present is killing me softly with his song another man rarely screeches the album to a halt. At this point in my life if I’m chexing a man I’m more than just interested in his body so to hit up my freak world would require some Mechad Brooks, Daniel Sunjata or Paul Walker type looks…you know purely physically speaking. Again that would be random and I’d feel no obligation to report one off fantasies only repeaters starring beaus from the past. And I say that because recurrent happy-times from prior gentleman callers scream problems in coupleville.

Flipping the script and my dude is getting his one hand jollies from chicks in his past I need to know about this expeditiously. Clearly something’s rotten in the state of Denmark. And since we aren’t in Denmark none of that matters except that it does. I mean if he’s still rapt in his ex we ain’t gone make it. Not that I’m a quitter but knowing when to hold and fold is all a part of the dating and mating game. It’s just that simple to me.

Now if we’re talking about recurrent Kim Kardashian, although I heard her tape’s craptacular, is something different. A feat I can match. This isn’t so much about a person as much as it’s about an action right? Possibly! What is she doing in his fantasy that we, as a couple, can incorporate into our chexual rolodex? If we’re in a committed relationship talking about what either of us likes is a prerequisite to reaching the O-face. Grown ups have grown conversations. It is just that simple. And if happily ever after is anywhere in our future we need to have this particular ball knocked out of the park from the gate.

At least that’s how I think about the subject. So for clarification purposes I don’t feel like having a recurrent fantasy equals unfaithful. I do feel that if prior significant others play a major role that the current relationship probably isn’t what it’s made for and may need to be reevaluated. The same rules apply to my Present and he should definitely discuss these ongoing fantasies with me.

What says you, Would you feel unfaithful if you had frequent sexual daydreams about someone other than your partner? If your partner were having such fantasies, would you want to know about it? Why?

As always to share is to care and hashish!

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Comments
2 Responses to “Book of Questions Friday: But I Gotta, Kn-Kn-Kn-Know What-What’s Your Fan-Ta-Ta-Sy”
  1. LaTonya says:

    If my husband were having frequent sexual daydreams about another woman, I’d be upset! Daydreams are easier controlled than night ones. I know just because we’re married doesn’t make him dead, but I’d rather not EVER find out!!! I’ll never tell if I was. My dad let me in on something a long time ago… self won’t tell on you. And that’s all I have to say about that!

    It’s been a long time, how are you? I used your word horrisprised a few weeks ago, thought about you and laughed.

    • Faith M. says:

      Heeeey Lady,

      Long time no see, read, blog…you know what I’m trying to say. I appreciate you for finding my digs on the wordpress side of life.

      I can dig this answer, it falls under the rule what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Because I can totally see how revealing these fantasies may be taken out of context right? I mean just because I dream of Lance Gross during the day doesn’t automatically make me not totally enjoy spending the grown up time with the boo, right? Possibly? See this is how things might go painfully wrong.

      Anywho I needs to get myself over to LaTonya’s world and do the catch up thing. How are the chil’rens?

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