Book of Questions Friday: Trust is it Earned? Or Given?

Not saying I would let anyone fall because that would just be cruel but you better believe I'd never free fall off a plank to a group of relative strangers...nah son I'm just not that trusting.

Friday’s Question from the Book of Question: Love & Sex #2, At the beginning of a relationship, do you trust your new partner unless there is something specific to make you do otherwise, or do withhold your trust until he or she has earned it?

No big surprise here I’m not the most trusting person. I intentionally keep a very small circle of friends and within that circle there are varying degrees of trust. I don’t deal well with liars and will quickly and quite abruptly dismiss anyone I believe is under par. With that small disclaimer I start everyone at a C in the trust department. You can reach for the stars and get an A or fall flat and get an F. Most often you have three chances to side step unless step one ruffles my feathers beyond repair.

Fully trusting another person requires a level of vulnerability that I’m not capable of quickly. I find it hard to let folks into my world, funny right considering I’m a blogger, but tis true. There’s still a level of anonymity here that doesn’t exist in real life. I freely admit this to people right off the bat, so there’s no surprises. It doesn’t mean that I question everything that someone says to me but I always tell folks you can tell me anything it doesn’t mean I believe it. Unless I saw it with my own eyes it’s just another fairytale no more real than Alice in Wonderland. Yeah I know how that sounds, but life has taught me even the people close to you can betray your trust.

Besides Wander, The Little Brother and The Little Sister there aren’t many people I fully trust. To get to their level requires hard work and dedication. For me to say to someone I trust you is tantamount to saying I love you. Those words rarely pass my lips. The number of people who’ve heard those words fit very snuggly on the fingers of my two hands. It is that serious to me. I don’t offer my trust/love to anyone lightly. In return I’m an amazingly loyal friend.

This level carries over to my romantic life. Men have a hard hill to climb. Not that I test them because I don’t play games and am not into the mindeffing that so many women employ. But I will definitely hold a man at bay until I feel he deserves to be let into my world, mostly because I detest being hurt. Not that anyone goes out with the intention to have her feelings splashed around all willly nilly but I guard my heart like Fort Dix. Giving it to every Tom, Dick and Faheem isn’t what’s it made for. Far to often I feel people toss around the I love you/ I trust you words with no real appreciation for their meaning. It’s serious business; at least it is to me.

So to answer the question my partner has to earn my trust. At first meet you won’t get the keys to the castle. What says you, at the beginning of a relationship, do you trust your new partner unless there is something specific to make you do otherwise, or do withhold your trust until he or she has earned it? As always to share is to care and hashish!

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Comments
One Response to “Book of Questions Friday: Trust is it Earned? Or Given?”
  1. Liza Vassallo says:

    I just wrote something about trust and I was the kind of person that gives it right away and allow them to break it…

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