Pop Culture Wednesday: What’s the Proper Punishment?

If we're applying the law equally aren't all the kids entitled to this lovely?

For the past few weeks I’ve been snuggled tightly underneath a rock of oblivion. Don’t ask me how I got there but know I’m just scratching my way to the surface. It seems over the last week or so a child of 14, Amber Cole, became an internet sensation. Not in a good way either. She’s taken the throne as a resident fellator. I went the proper route as opposed to using a colorful euphemism. I reserve those for the over 18 crowd. Only because calling a 14-year-old a jezebel just makes me feel icky about my skin. Anywho some “onlooker” caught said acts of ill repute on camera, I knew one of these days camera phones would get us into troubles. Based on others accounts of the video a similarly aged boy stood as a look out to the mayhem and foolishness. All of this took place on school grounds. From what I can dissect, the young boys involved (3 in total) may face criminal charges. Part of me wonders if this is fair or proper treatment?

Before you jump down my throat and/or skin me alive at least hear me out first. Feminist mantra tells me that I should automatically see said 14-year-old chica as a victim. I do in some ways but I don’t in others. She is clearly a victim of poor parenting. Excuses for lackluster parenting will never cross my mouth, escape my pen or hit the keys of my keyboard. To the point I also see this young girl as victim of poor self-esteem. Not many secure females would allow a group of men to videotape them performing an explicit sex act. Minus the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton’s of the world. Additionally this chick is clearly missing the good sense that God gave a Billy goat but that’s totally beside the point because as we know the teenage years are made for slip-ups and fall downs.

Knowing that teenagers fall down and then get up, is this not more of a learning experience than a punishable offense? It seems somewhat like lopsided justice to blame the boys without also blaming the girl. I know I know three against one but san coercion this 14 year old girl may have been a willing participant. Scandalous! In that case she needs more people. And as far as I know there was no adult involved manipulating the mind of a child(ren) and therefore I see a level playing field. Equal participants should receive equal punishment, no? While the stigma of this act might follow girlie long after the Internet trolls and trollettes scurry to the next thing popping landing on the sex offenders list almost guarantees a life space filled with mediocrity for the young men involved.

Children make mistakes. Granted at 14 I’m 99.9999998% positive if a dirty little boy asked me to partake in oral relations I would have blushed, told him he was nasty and ran to tell all of my friends so we could laugh. In my early teens I was just discovering the art of the French kiss and anything beyond heavy petting received a cruel and usual side eye x___X! These kids know too much about segsi time at an age when their concentration just ought to be on school and non-chexual fun. Naïve, yo no se!

And what I’m calling a mistake may very well sentence poor Amber Cole to a lifetime of booty claps and popping on a handstand. We all have a choice in our path. Here’s why I say that guidance is oh so necessary. Not that responsible parenting derails all foolish childhood behavior, because that’s just silly talk. It does at least provide a decent foundation for understanding bad choices have consequences. Despite some of the less than stellar aspects of my childhood there was one thing I knew for sure, if I did something wrong (there was a laundry list of wrong offenses) believe there would be hell to pay if Wander or the Man She Married ever found out. Now did this stop me from doing some things, hell to the yes but it didn’t thwart everything. But you better damn sure believe I wasn’t dumb enough to allow any of those other things to get recorded or photographed. Was I smarter than a 5th grader, maybe but I also understood a child’s place and stayed in it.

Sure that type of language probably makes folk uneasy. I’m sorry but there is a thing as a child’s place. Despite what some may think if children were equipped with the mental capacity and where with all to raise themselves they wouldn’t require guardians. Too often kids, at the very fault of their parents, skip right past adolescence right into adulthood without the insight or ability to properly handle the fast lane. It makes me all types of uncomfortable about my person to know 14-year-old girls are giving blowjobs Superhead style. That’s not cute, boo boo. Granted the “new celebs/ role models” of today who ricochet from the sack to stardom only make instilling values in your children that much more important. I get that it’s not easy but know there’s no substitute for proper home training.

Someone needs to round up all the parties involved, give them a down and dirty sex ed lesson and explain that for every action there is a reaction. Dig into their little kid psyches to understand why they felt this type of thing was acceptable to record and share with the world and then explain to them why it isn’t. Amped up monitoring of their social networking sites and phone usage needs to take place expeditiously and maybe spending some time with teen moms and/or young folk infected with STDs might ground them in the other non recorded consequences of chex. Criminal charges just seem a bit much for the teens involved. Of course the adults who actually watched a 14-year-old Superhead another 14-year-old need help. You do realize that’s possession of child porn and if you forwarded the link you’re now a distributor. Nasty Bastids!

What says you, has my lens of a non-parent corrupted the real issues here? What punishment fits the crime? Do you believe the children should be charged/punished equally? Do you feel the boys are the only ones at fault, if so why? As always to share is to care and hashish!

2 Responses to “Pop Culture Wednesday: What’s the Proper Punishment?”
  1. i appreciate that you didn’t bang a gavel on these children’s heads. i’ve steered WAY CLEAR of this topic since it dropped because it’s just…hard for me to sort out. i want all my lil brown girls to be emotionally safe to make physically safe decisions. these childrens are OVERexposed & undersupervised. that makes these waters way too difficult to navigate with life preservers with all kinds of holes.

    the way they’re living is not their fault but they’re being left to sort through their mistakes alone. it is unfair for ANY of them to be prosecuted, unless there is proof that amber was forced into this act. other than that, it’s children playing adult games without the rule book. we gotta give our children the rule book.

    • Faith M. says:

      Hey Girl Hey,

      You hit the nail on the effing head, these kids are OVERexposed and Undersupervised. Darn If you ain’t preaching to the choir and singing my favorite hymnals. At some point parents need to take responsibility for their lack of parenting talent. I guess they don’t realize their inability to parent leads to ill behaved children who grow to be maladjusted adults. Then the cycle continues. I’m sure these are the same people who think it’s perfectly fine to throw a baby shower for a 15 year old…it is a sad sad world we live in!

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