Monday Ranting: I Can’t Explain My Fascination

Some time ago this transformed from hoarding to plain ole filthy....I'm not sure where the line is drawn but I'm completely sure this chick has no clue they make scented bleach.

Against my better judgment I started watching Hoarders on A&E. After the initial peruse I couldn’t turn away from the screen. I know not why but much like the compulsion to confirm that the spoiled milk is in fact spoiled I’m compelled to watch Hoarders. The strength of my craving forces me to overdose on episode after episode after episode. Pulling myself away from the train wreck…sheer impossibility!

One of my FB friends reminded me that the new season starts today. While I won’t catch it when the show actually airs, my obsession isn’t that deep; it’s already in my XfinityTV queue. Maybe my obsession is that deep, yo no se! Anywho my insides been throwing up jazz hands in excited delight just thinking about the new season of semi whack-a-doodles fighting to keep a 10-year-old prescription bottle with expired meds inside. Nothing warms the heart like watching a mother daughter combo foam mouth argue because neither wants to depart with a baby doll missing both eyes and legs. Sentimental value and hashish!

There’s a point in every episode where I scream, “Are you serious?” It springs from a multitude of places. Sometimes it’s the reaction to seeing an adult defecate in a plastic grocery bag and toss said bag into a corner in her living room with reckless abandon. Other times it stems from seeing the “clean team” walk into a hoarder’s home and make gagging vomit faces from the unearthly scents permeating once the door opens. It was so horrific over the past season I turned away once. I won’t lie. One of the “clean team” members discovered a jar of God knows what in the refrigerator of one of the hoarders. Mind you when he opened the jar he heaved a little in his mouth because of the smell. When the hoarder chick saw the jar she threw an adult tantrum and refused to part with the “foodstuffs.” Instead she took the jar from the “clean team” member and proceeded to eat the fuzzy black items. As far as we know she’s still alive, proving that the human body can and will adjust to just about any condition.

Lately I’ve started questioning whether these people are in fact hoarders or just nasty as sin. In the beginning, the show displayed folk who had a lot of clutter and a couple dust bunnies. In my mind these peeps were in fact hoarders. But what I’ve seen on the later episodes are nasty muthafluckers! In case you’re wondering nasty muthaflucker is the technical term. Keeping a home filled to capacity with expired food and cats does not a hoarder make. Maybe I’m wrong but nowhere does hoarding mean that cleaning is optional. Collecting and refusing to throw away every newspaper and magazine you put your hands on totally describes hoard like behaviors. However if you collect and refuse to throw away every newspaper and magazine on top of never picking up a mop, dustpan, broom or bottle of Pine Sol signifies filthy. Hoarding and dirty aren’t synonyms, I’m just saying!

One of the many questions running through my mind, why is the hoarder pet of choice a cat? While cats are very smart and semi self-sufficient their waste smells like ammonia. The smell is quite possibly the nastiest animal odor second only to decaying carcasses. It could just be me though and my inner distaste for all things feline. I’m a dog person despite my detour down cat detective lane. But seriously if you refuse to part with everything you take in what triggers in your brain to pull in a gaggle of cats. And not just one or two same sex kitties but mama and papa cats so every few months kittens are born and so the circle of life begins. And unfortunately ends because many meet brutal disgusting untimely deaths, crushed beneath a mountain of 5 yr old calendars. BBM sad face ☹

Despite all of this I still tune in, ready for every horriprised moment. I might need to talk to someone about that. Of course I’m not the only one watching in disgusted delight. Yes I know that’s an oxymoron but it works sort of like jumbo shrimp. Anywho what says you, have you stumbled upon Hoarders and started watching? Are you equally fascinated with their lives of clutter, mayhem and foolishness? Are there any shows you watch but have no real idea why you enjoy them? As always to share is the care and hashish!

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Comments
2 Responses to “Monday Ranting: I Can’t Explain My Fascination”
  1. *Yoles* says:

    i watch animal hoarders i don’t know why, it actually makes me cringe but i can’t look away..

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola Yoles,

      You’re a much stronger person than me. How can you stomach the mayhem and foolishness that happens on this show?

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