Dating & Mating: The More the Merrier I Guess…

Nope it's still sad even when you're rich and famous!

In the not so recent past Mr. Money Earnin’ and I were kicking the actual factuals about the hoes and what constitutes hoe type behavior. Over gchat he asked me how many baby dads is too many. Color me old fashion, but having multiple baby dads (or is it babies dads or baby’s daddies) is not what it’s made for. Having the ability to pull a baby daddy from the bench is the antithesis of cute. Egregious misstep sistah girl, procreating with every man with a pulse is definitely the way to a Guinness book world record but not any trophies. Slipping off my halo and jumping off my throne, maybe this issue ain’t that black and white. Maybe circumstance plus context changes the complexion of this conversation.

Side note men get the same side eye…multiples are not asstastic boo boo!

Without much thought I told Mr. Money Earnin’ that anything upwards of 2 is 1 too many, point blank period. Raising a child is one of life’s most precious gifts and by far the hardest profession. Entering the parenthood ranks should occur with someone you share more with than a zoom zoom and a boom boom. I’m just saying a one two step does not a responsible parent make. If this is your screening process I pray for the youth because there ain’t no hope for the future.

I’m not judging I swear. Your bed…feel free to lie in it. And clearly you have. Honestly if your 4 children have 3 different fathers throwing shade isn’t my first response. I may low key call you a hussy but I say that with pure Christian love. Maybe your situation dictates that 3 fathers is better than 1. I mean 1 is the loneliest number. Quite possibly you married young bore 2 children to a man who slipped off the side of a cruise boat by 22. Considering your young age at the time of procreation, the possibility of you having another child is hella high. We can’t force you into the nunnery, mostly because I don’t think they allow nuns to have children. And since stopping all recreational horizontal dances in some jurisdictions might equate to a form of torture I think you’re easily up to 2 dads at this point.

For the sake of making this example’s numbers jive, maybe baby daddy number 2 was a Trojan Horse and vanished right after inception, no Leo DiCaprio and you’re left with 3 kids at 27. All is not lost because a knight in shining armor may be just around the corner ready and willing to deposit his seed and make an honest woman of you. In this scenario having 4 children by 3 different men doesn’t seem entirely ratchet, right?

Gutter-butt rumors surface when you’re 19 with 3 kids and 3 different fathers. Side eyes and whispering churchwomen are normal in your world! Of this I’m 82.5% sure. It doesn’t make you a bad person…slightly irresponsible and misguided maybe but definitely not a bad person. This is a hard field to hoe but with your experience it shouldn’t be that difficult.

In all seriousness though iStruggle with this issue. I have a lot of opinions about parenthood and raising children despite my lack of firsthand knowledge. In spite of never pushing a watermelon through a straw something fundamental within me screams raising children requires stability and introducing multiple parental influences or lack thereof presents a problem. In my mind someone who haphazardly splashes new gents all about her life space isn’t adequately assessing the imprint her life leaves on her kids. That is the definition of irresponsible parenting, to think that your life trumps that of raising your child. Maybe I’m over thinking this thing. I have a tendency to overanalyze trivial topics…I should just get focused and stop pointing fingers. No no excessive fathers is a problem a real problem.

Of course this could just be my old fashion ways not meshing with modern times, yo no se. What says you, how many baby daddies is too many? Do the circumstances surrounding multiples make it less stank? Is it equally ratchet when men have 2 or more baby mamas? As always to share is to care and hashish!

One Response to “Dating & Mating: The More the Merrier I Guess…”
  1. i cain’t even say nuthin bout this except i have so much to say & therefore i’m going to exercise my right to remain silent.
    lawd…you done opened up a can…i tell you.

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