Random-iskabibles: Mom Natcha’ Letting Her Freak Flag Fly

This is exactly how I envision the snagatoof wench!

No one’s surprised when I talk greasy about Mom Natcha’. We have a very tumultuous relationship stemming in large part from her disrespectfully ratchet behavior. I detest hoodrats in person, televised ratchets a la Slamdunk Skeezers perfectly acceptable, but Mom Natcha’ is a way live and in person hussy. And a temperamental rat of the hood at that, she got some nerve right? Unless you live in a terrorist style cave, you know the whole entire east coast experienced an earthquake Tuesday. It was the strongest quake in the last 114 years. That’s a bit of dramaggeration (combo drama & exaggeration) me thinks it’s the last earthquake in the last 114 years period, not just the strongest.

Anywho shall I proceed? Yes indeed!

Mom Natcha’ decided to show us her entire arse. She’s good at this. What I didn’t like about it, besides the arse shot, she hit us with a false sense of security. After blessing us with all rain all the time for the past few weeks she ever so graciously permitted a couple of days full of sunshine and greatness. She showed us everything that she could be when her bra strap’s not overly tightened. Unfortunately old dogs with new tricks are as rare as black women getting married. In the middle of the fantabulousness Mom Nancha’ made the earth pop lock and drop it.

Now my west coast brethren and sister-folk are way familiar with underground dougies. Us east coasters were totally taken off guard by Tuesday’s events. Judging by the state of utter panic we are not about that life. Completely unprepared for the aftermath of an earthquake many businesses in the city of Philadelphia let their employees go home. Yay, half day! This was the right decision because no one was working after that. Twitter and FB was ablaze with horror stories of surviving the tremors. You know drama queens and diva dudes must at all times hype their situation. I sit on the 48th floor the whole building swayed, it was built that way, and honestly it wasn’t that bad. Hell some folks didn’t even notice anything unusual.

That of course doesn’t let Mom Natcha’ off the hook for being a ratchet. Her behavior was just utterly ridonkulous. I think she needed to prove she has the upper hand. I never once forgot especially since this bish regularly employs her henchmen Rain and Humidity to stomp out my great hair days. I can’t speak on the evils that these two heifers, in particular Humidity, did to my hair last weekend during a pool party in Maryland. Just know that if either of them would like a fair one, I’m ready willing and able. Additionally Mom Natcha’ basically said eff it and is going balls to the wall this weekend, hide ya kids because Hurricane Irene is on her way up the coast. I hatechu Mom Natcha’ and everything you stand for.

In all seriousness though the earthquake added an element of excitement to an otherwise boring Tuesday afternoon. At least for me it did. It also interrupted my perusing the news outlets for stories on the ousting of Muammar Gaddafi’s 41-year stronghold on Libya. This makes me wonder if this will result in a negative or positive impact on gas prices. Tuesday events were popping…of course NBC 10 will never be added back to list of credible news sources because in the midst of all the clearly news worthy stories it bombarded headlines with the potential Will and Jada Smith divorce. For reals? This is why are children are behind the other nation’s elite.

Sad? Sad!

What says you fine folk, where were you when the earthquake hit? Did you know it what it was before the news reported we’d experienced a rare east coast earthquake? My east coasters, are you ready for Hurricane Irene? Kool Kid points if anyone can tell me what year Atlantic Tropical storms took up modern day naming conventions. Why do I know these random facts…blame it on my inner nerd. As always to share is to care and hashish!

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