Blog Challenge Post 9: Sometimes I Get Scared…

If I didn't know better I think she may have just met the Fake Nice Guy but I could be wrong.

Despite my ultra kool kid demeanor with a touch of nonchalance there are a couple of men-folk that frighten me to the core. My dudes at Wikipedia define fear as a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. As a result of said negative sensation one typically fights or flees. Run Forrest Run! Normally I resist the urge to quit a situation before seeing it through but there are instances that rub up against my fear mechanism and um, these boots are made for walking. Nobody likes a quitter but Wander didn’t raise no fool either. Since this is my house and I live here I’m fin to kick the actual factuals with y’all about three humans of the male persuasion that I run from out here on these streets.

The Fake Nice Guy

THIS monster complains religiously that nice guys finish last while secretly disliking women for years of dateless nights in high school. He is the quintessential reverse geek but not in the cute Matthew Gray Gubler way. Reverse geeks or Fake Nice Guys (FNG) typically exhibit a woe is me attitude and refuse to see the reason why they epically fail in romance. More often than not they have ill developed personalities with no leg left to stand on besides “nice.” Sorry fella but nice and dull does not a couple make. Please take up a hobby. Tell me something about anything you’re passionate about even if that something is botany. Grow them trees boy, grow them trees!

Believe it or not women actually like nice men. Let the truth marinate a bit, I know you smell what I’m cooking. Chicks stalk the streets in hot pursuit of the men that open doors, stand when we walk into a room and walk on the outside willing to take the full brunt of a car if said vehicle hops the curb. FNG’s believe these actions entitle them to the panty drawls while actual Nice Guys recognize being a gentleman is it’s own reward.

Mr. Pretty Boy Too Kool for School

Welcome to douchebagville. In his mind he wakes up and pisses excellence. Arrogance runs through his veins on the regular and this personality type typically exists in the body of a full-blown metrosexual. I have no problem with male upkeep. Quite frankly manscaping and general primping are necessity however I never want a man who’s prettier than the Princess and knows it. I like being pretty and don’t want competition between my peen of choice and me.

On the positive side Mr. Too Kool will know all the best parties because in his ball sack universe this makes him the hashish and cheese grits. I enjoyed high school but I don’t want to relive that dynamic out here in this real world and this is the life space you encounter with Mr. Too Kool. I prefer to kick off my shoes and relax my feet. I don’t need a Facebook superstar at my side.

We Can Be Friends Dude

Of all the one eyed bandits mentioned THIS mofo kicks my run for cover radar up to red alert. Hidden in the body of a regular dude sits the fraudulent wankster that is the We Can Be Friends Dude. Never mind the two kids or the fiancé with dinner warming this imposter poses as single until he thinks you like him enough to be down with the get down. After learning of his “situation” he claims innocence. He was only interested in being friends. It’s something about that girl you’re sexy as hell text message that screams otherwise.

Not only do I detest the lie the poser’s pulling me into I resent that he’s insulting my intelligence. I don’t do men with “situations.” Slashed tires and/or broken windows aren’t what it’s made for but are damn sure what it’s leading to if you tango with the Let’s Be Friends Dude. Sooner or later his “situation” ends up outside of your job dressed in black ready to stomp your ears together…that level of violence isn’t good for my complexion. Instead I opt out and leave those kinds of friendships to the ever-present rats of the hood.

Now that’s the double truth Ruth! When these three dudes approach I get an overwhelming sense of personal danger. Some might call it terror stricken, yo no se. What says you good folk, what types of gents or gentle women send chills up your spine? As always, to share is to care and hashish!

Stay tuned for Fridays Blog Challenge Post 10 where I’ll discuss the five things I can’t leave the house without!

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Comments
5 Responses to “Blog Challenge Post 9: Sometimes I Get Scared…”
  1. Im so “terror strickin” of the Fake Nice Guy…they are deadly lol. And I recently learned you can not confront them with their fakeness…I’ve never found myself running in a bigger circle. Sheesh. So glad I got out of that one alive!

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola Sweetestmind,

      As you should the Fake Nice Guy might cut you up and put you in a closet. They are out here on these streets duping chix. We must keep our eyes open and warn others. And you cannot tell them about themselves…some people aren’t ready for the truth!

    • dave says:

      Ms. Sweetestmind – Also glad that you “escaped”, but the real “nice guys” are not even in the game ( got rejected and chased away a long time ago and now just content to wait for women to ask THEM out instead).The “fake” nice guys are playing the game and the real “nice guys” have left the building. Do you think that you passed up a real “nice guy” and went to the fake nice guy instead?

  2. lol! This is why I need to get out of the country (Alabama). The mentality is too simple for men and women. I had NO idea that women still liked doors opened for them. Some won’t allow it, others don’t even say anything.

    When I got to the fake nice guy, my mouth just hung open. Not because I’m a fake nice guy – I’m a really nice guy/cool nerd. My problem is, chicks around here like when they see on BET – which isn’t necessarily the smart or respectful type.

    LOL @Mr. too cool for school. Definitely not me. I mean…Ima cool mofo, but not too cool to allow anyone else around me to shine…dang.

    lmao @we can be friends dude!

    ~Chapperelli
    http://www.insaneasylumblog.com

    • Faith M. says:

      Chapster,

      So for some unknown reason you were stuck in comment purgatory…I let you out though cause I’m nice like that.

      Anywho so yeah real women appreciate having a door opened for them. I suggest running expeditiously from rats of the hood who model their male/female interaction after scenes from anything seent (intentional misspelling) on BET. You strike me as a cool nerd…breaking out of the country might be just what the doctor ordered.

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