Blog Challenge Post 4: Dream Nuptials…LOL

Of all the girlie wedding traditions the only one I fall victim to is the engagement ring. I selected this ring when I had marriage talks...never made it to sizing tho!!!!

Most humans of the female persuasion have dream-wedding scenarios worked out in their heads. Since childhood and possibly while leaving the hole they hatched these dreams and as their little female bodies grew so did the imaginary ceremonies. As a young Faith I never pictured walking down an aisle surrounded by third cousins twice removed to the arms of the man of my dreams. Young Faith thought about manipulating a jury into believing reporting your child missing after she’s been gone for 30 days is the sign of an innocent woman. Weddings and wedding type things were out of my sphere of influence until attending an acquaintance of a used to be friend’s wedding. While opening the door to moderate fantasy-esque wedding planning that trip did nothing to quiet my commitment-phobe issues.

Folk in the circle and peeps slightly framing the rim of my life know my commitment issues. They are well documented. At the most, marriage seems interesting if not convenient, a constant trash taker outer and unlimited peen access. However the seemingly final nature of marriage makes my skin rash up quick as a whore sweats in church. I know divorce exists but quitting is for the weak barring physical or emotional violence. Marriage reeks of a constant ride on an emotional roller coaster…I’m not sure if my life space can tolerate that type of motion. I’d like to say I’d ride marriage ‘till the wheels fell off but my relationship track record proves otherwise considering I’ve stopped dating a very eligible bachelor over a mishap with a razor. I referenced my shallowness last episode so please don’t act horriprised mmkay! Runaway bride doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility.


Recognizing the problem is half the battle tho, glass half empty or full me no know!

Excuse my gerd toward all things matrimonial I may have gone slightly overboard. I do want a life partner I swears it’s that aisle walking and forever-ness that unnerves me. Anywho after partaking in the nuptials of someone I barely knew I conjured this wedding rendition for myself.

Picture it Sicily 1926 a young Italian…sorry I lost myself for a minute.

Jumping right back on track I envision myself getting married on the island of St. John at dusk barefoot on the beach. The ceremony would be way intimate, just my to be hubby’s immediate family and my counterparts. Of course when I say family that extends to four peeps that are of no blood relation, The Best, Nurse, Male Nurse and Model Friend. Everyone else will be invited for the big arse party I’m throwing once I get home. As a reminder to anyone at the party the Electric Slide and any of it’s bastard children banned! They are so banned. Yes that includes the Cupid Shuffle. Please don’t get tossed trying to get it started. Consider that a PSA, proceed accordingly.

What says you folk, have you given thought to your nuptials? Do you have every detail down to the party favors selected? Stay tuned for Blog Challenge Post 5 on Monday where I’ll discuss the ten things that grind my gears!

Side note while my friends are an eclectic bunch which really shows the range of my personality I would hope this never happens to us during the pre-wedding shenanigans.


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