Random Iskabibbles – Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back: A Review of Single Ladies

One of these things is not like the other...can someone tell me why they didn't pick a more attractive white girl. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying she's ugly but she pales standing next to Stacey Dash!

If it’s not clear from the title of this post the new VH1 show, Single Ladies is wack. I’m using wack as a technical term because honestly there is no other word that fully exemplifies what I witnessed. Before I start to go HAM on the show I want everyone to know I am a true fan of Stacey Dash! And contrary to typical hating female behavior I think Diamond Lisa Raye is purtay! Yup from my lips to God’s ear she is nice looking chick. Stacey Dash is better looking but that has nothing to do with the price of chicken wings in Calcutta. And none of that has any bearings on the show. If only having a pretty face and a nice arse got you everything in life.

Oh but it does…Kim Kardashian!

Who said that?

Moving right along! In any man’s river I debated whether I would even partake in the show after seeing the flimsy previews. However when I heard that Queen Latifah put her foot into the mix I said hell how bad could it be? I learned that it could be real bad but that’s beside the point. Oh no wait, that is the point. What in the heeeeeelllllllll did Kadijah splash all willy nilly on the small screen? That rat shyt ain’t fit for the consumption of the chirrun that rides on the small yella bus, and by the chirrun I mean Waka Flocka and Gucci Mane.

Granted I wasn’t expecting fantabulous acting…come on when was the last time Lisa Raye “acted” but I was hoping for half decent writing. Not writing on par with say Nurse Jackie but I wanted realistic conversation and believable characters. What I got was outdated verbiage and one-dimensional stereotypical drones. At one point I think Stacey Dash’s character actually said you need to step…WTF? Oh I’m going hard right now ain’t I?

Not hard enough though, what the ef with these female characters. So who believes that Lisa Raye’s pushing 50 arse is dropping it like it’s hot in anyone’s video? For those who missed the memo she’s cast as a video vixen. I’m not saying her body ain’t on time but I am saying grow the ef up bish. Damn you don’t want to be known for your arse but then you keep taking roles about your arse! What am I supposed to think? I want to ride hard for her as a female and she’s yella like me so I feel a sense of connection but dammit after someone puts a ring on it, you’re supposed to at least act like a lady. Yes I know she’s divorced now but she used to be someone’s royalty. You never saw Grace Kelly popping on a handstand…I’m just saying!

On top of that comedy the bish is a thief! What the deuces hide the good china. So if it wasn’t bad enough that an almost granny is dropping and giving us fifty she’s also Deboing jewelry. Granted a twist I wasn’t expecting but it also wasn’t a good surprise either. I mean for real though stealing, who does that? Oh my bad Lisa Raye. These caricatures of black female existence really agitate my life space. We already have jizz wads like Satoshi Kanazawa throwing shade on us we don’t need to take deathly stabs at ourselves. Especially when said stabs are so far removed from the everyday average chick. I mean I’m not saying there aren’t any thieving extra boughetto broads among us but that darn sure ain’t the norm. And I feel some type of way that we get cast that way more often than not.

Far be it from me to judge but when did female empowerment, you know the whole premise of the show and hashish, equate to ho-shyt? This was my issue with Sex in the City and why I couldn’t fully support it. I got that the show was about strong women doing them but it also was about four hoes doing ho-shyt. You can throw a pig in a dress but it’s still a pig. I know that a part of female empowerment in some way means owning your segsi and doing with you nanny girl what you see fit. I so get that and I stand by the fact that women have every right to explore their sexuality but a trifling hussy is just that. Color me bad old fashion but rumpling the foreskin of both a random and your ex in close enough proximity to be confused about paternity is not what it’s made for. A spade is a spade and hoe is a hoe point blank period! That type of behavior sets bad examples.

As hoodtabulous television goes this is instep with Flava of Love. Not that I dislike hoodtabulous cinema in general because sometimes I need a break from real life. In those moments I turn to Mob Hookers and Basketball Sluts. When I tune in to those shows I don’t expect to we wowed or learn anything worthwhile. I expect a hot ghetto mess and you know what, it delivers. But when a show trumpets the merits of sisterhood and proclaims we are women hear us roar that’s what I want to see. Instead I received the multicultural version of Sex and the City. My one reprieve with the show, almost everyone in the cast is haute. If that’s all you care about in terms of television viewing by all means tune into Single Ladies.

What says you, did you tune into the show? Am I being too hard on them? Should I give it two episodes before forming a true opinion? I just might have to because Common plays the mayor, LOL!

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Comments
6 Responses to “Random Iskabibbles – Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back: A Review of Single Ladies”
  1. OH MAN! My channel lineup is horrible. It’s Lifetime, BET, VH1, MTV, CMT. When I go through that part of the neighborhood, i speed through the channels (because of course I HAVE to flip through, one channel at a time). One day I thought I saw some booty while flipping so I stopped. It was Diamond but I didn’t like the crap that was coming out of her mouth. Needless to say, I muted the TV and kept watching. I love old chicks. Well, not “Betty White” old or “Susan B. Anthony” old (you know you old when you got your own money) At that age, they’re like pets to me. I digress…

    I don’t think if I would tune in, but if I catch dat ass while flipping, I’ll mute and look, mute and look. 🙂

    ~Chappy
    http://www.insaneasylumblog.com

    Tell your Bro I said “what up”

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola Chappy,

      There’s a word for your obsession, Gerontophilia! I would like for you not to pick up Betty White in a shopping mall near you, LOL!

      At the same time I can’t really blame you for stopping once seeing the sight that is LisaRaye’s wagon…no lesbo I probably would stop too. Of course I won’t mute because that’s just taking it a little too far.

  2. Thus far, there isn’t a show that will proclaim sisterhood & be a little realistic and hold black women in high-esteem, the ONLY show IMHO, that did all of that was GIRLFRIENDS. Not only did I stan for that show, it was classy, realistic, and all around great acting.

    I refuse to watch a lot of this other trash, unless I nothing better to do with my time, or unless I wanna see sluts fall head over heels in love with trolls, or sterotypical loud mouth, ghettofab chicks box it out over money, men, or both… *bring back a spin-off of Girlfriends….I’m just sayin'”

    • Faith M. says:

      Hey Diva,

      I was a Girlfriend’s STAN! I really really really liked that show until Toni’s personality went all haywire and she left the show. Then I stopped watching. Toni was my favorite and without her there I couldn’t bang with the show like that anymore but I wish more quality shows like that would come back. Side note Kelsey “White As Snow” Grammer was the executive producer….things that make you go hmmmm! It makes me somewhat scared for the state of “black” television if the best show about black women came from the creative mind of a white dude.

  3. EvilGenius says:

    I got to be honest, I’m starting to think black folks aren’t as creative as we think we are, or once were. A lot of the movies, tv shows and music we put out these days are just plain disgusting, for lack of a better word. The show was awful. That was to be expected. They’ve tried to make it “entertaining” by injecting all kinds of drama-filled situations. It’s a night time soap opera. If you’re looking for decent acting, good plots, or creative writing, you are definitely tuned in to the wrong channel. It’s just a bad show in every aspect of it. Queen Latifah should be embarrassed to put her name on something like this.

    • Faith M. says:

      Hey EG,

      When I originally saw the previews I said I wasn’t interested but after hearing that Queen Latifah was involved I thought it might have some redeeming qualities. After viewing the first episode I realized that was way false. Since it follows my favorite ratchet television show Basketball Whores I’ve seen a couple of the following shows…they were a step up from bad, but definitely not good.

      I’m still holding out hope for black folk being mad creative, look at Grey’s Anatomy. There’s still hope!

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