Monday Ranting – Sometimes Women are Just Better

Sometimes women are better...

I’ve never been one of those women who’ve said that all men are dogs. Even though I’ve seen some stellar examples of douchery up close and hella personal. It never made me think as a collective bunch that men were losers. In a fit of rage or in jest I have said that men are stooopid but who hasn’t rolled that die, as a reminder always bet on black. With all things considered I must admit sometimes, women are just better.

I’m not the only one who thinks this. Researches in the UK believe that women are genetically more attractive, Halle Berry. Science can be manipulated to prove anything; crop circles equal aliens. Because what else would beings of superior intelligence do besides mess with hillbilly farms. I will say that I 72.6% agree with women evolving to being more attractive, Scarlett Johansson, than men. Men marry for looks and well women, I’m not saying they’re gold diggers but they ain’t messing with no broke…bottom line it just makes sense to me. Besides looking better, women blow men in four other ways, completely out of the water. ←-Did I just do something there o_O!

Believe it or not, women drive better than men.

Yeah I said it and guess what, I meant it. Since I’m the resident insurance guru here why don’t you kick off your shoes, relax your feet and let me school you. Car insurance rates are based primarily on driving statistics. Folks who have the highest number of fatalities and payable auto damage are charged higher premiums. It’s a little thing in insurance we call a high risk. Who would those folks be…wait for it…wait for it…MEN! And to push it even further young black men! Yup legal profiling at it’s best hitting you where it hurts, your wallet.

This is counterintuitive to you. And it probably stings, No More Tears Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. I’m sorry but it’s all the way true. Women get in fewer accidents and the accidents that women do get in actually result in smaller claims. Ipso facto, women are better drivers and can do it while putting on make-up, changing a baby diaper or reading blogs via their iPhone. That last one might just be me.

Contrary to popular thought, women are stronger than men.

No I’ve never seen a strong woman contest and would quickly turn the channel if I surfed there by mistake. Because unlike my favorite movie Love & Basketball, women’s sports outside of track and maybe rugby don’t go hard in the paint. Is that offensive? It might be but I can’t please everyone and I’ve given up trying.

I’ve managed to go off topic. The point, men are weak. Have you ever been anywhere near a man when he has a cold? You would think he’s been diagnosed with Ebola and told he has 3 days to live based on the level of complaints. Men do a poor job of taking care of themselves, in general, thus suffering from more frequent colds and flu type illnesses. Here’s a tip, drink some OJ and grow the flip up. Just because your nose is running doesn’t mean you can’t get up and take out the trash. And let’s not talk about childbirth, the game of the watermelon and the straw! Clearly proving the point in one word that men can’t deal with women on any level.

Women are natural multi-taskers, they’re constantly juggling balls!

Did I just say that?

Have you ever tried to talk to a man while he’s watching sports? Let me rephrase, have you ever successfully had a conversation with a man while he’s watching sports? I’ll wait…the answer is clearly no. For whatever reason men aren’t wired to deal with two tasks at one time. iStruggle with understanding why this is because I feel it’s truly a life skill to wash dishes, console a friend in relationship despair and figure out what I’m wearing to work without skipping a beat. Chicks’ get so much done in a day. If women operated on the tasking level of men, children would go to school without lunch and half dressed. I assume this is why men are sought out for factory line jobs; they can focus on a single task all day and remain happy as a lark.

If you want a secret uncovered women are by far better detectives because they pay attention to detail.

Now this could be in large part because men are stoopid…see that time it was in jest! What I meant to say was men tell ridonkulous lies. Either men think women are dumb or they actually believe the horse manure falling out their mouths amounts to more than a pile of hashish. Men tell fibs that a 3 year old wouldn’t believe. At least put some effort into the story…make it feel real for goodness sakes. If you’re going to lie you should at least rehearse it because fem-folk will ask 50-11 questions about this story until it unravels. Women don’t watch all that Law & Order for nothing.
Oh yes females aren’t above adding miscellaneous details to your tale of two cities to see if you realize and when you don’t, I suggest you listen to your corner and watch for the hook. Womens is sneaky.

Chicks just remember hashish! There is no way around this. Details about relationships and people remain intact and forever present in the vault also know as the female brain. While men seem to store sports facts and stats with no trouble birthdays and anniversaries seep out their minds. The exact opposite is true for women. I bet money that most women can remember down to the boxer briefs the outfit her man was wearing the day they met. Why can women total recall these things, I don’t know? Maybe it’s a God given gift as a way of saying thanks for having to deal with lying men who always drench the bath mat and rub their package against the decorative towels there to accent the bathroom.

And there it is. Sometimes women are just better. I don’t mean in any way superior because that would just be sexist and being sexist is not what kool kids do. I’m just acknowledging that for some things I’d call Lois Lane before Superman.

What says you, have I missed any things that women do better than men? What are some of the things you believe women do better than men? Tell me about some of the things that men do better than women. You’re disqualified if you say sports.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Monday Ranting – Sometimes Women are Just Better”
  1. *OnlyYolie* says:

    i agree… this post was PURE GENIUS if i say so myself…

    as for the stronger thing.. i have heard its not physical strength per se but women have a much higher tolerance for pain…

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola Yolie,

      You are allowed to call it genius…it has a ring to it that I like! Yes you may be onto something, threshold for pain would have probably been the better way to go. I think it has something to do with all the estrogen in our system. Now I have no scientific evidence of that but as I mentioned science can make anything true.

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