Hashish My Brother Says – Remember Mismatch Monday?

One of these things is not like the other....

The other day The Little Brother and I were watching the Newlywed Game. I say that not because the conversation that took place was about the show but because it wasn’t. Sometimes he blurts out things that have nothing to do with what we’re talking about or looking at and I’m expected to rummage through the plane wreckage and find the little black box.

TLB: Yo, ‘member Bum Shit Wednesday?
Me: Huh?
TLB: In high school…’member Mismatch Monday or Gay Shit Friday?
Me: What…you do realize we didn’t go to the same school?
TLB: Yeah but y’all ain’t do that?
Me: Do what? Seriously what are we talking about right now?
TLB: It was funny too. You could wear anything on Bum Shit Wednesday.
Me: So people actually took part in this nonsense?
TLB: The guys…it started cause my friend said something gay and then we was like guess it’s Gay Shit Friday. Nothing too gay doe, you know what I’m saying.
Me: Blank stare
TLB: Why you looking at me like that…y’all never did stuff like that? What?

Around that time in the conversation I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. What am I supposed to say in response to that? I blame the failing education system in Philadelphia for a lot of the things that come out of my brother’s mouth. And the weed! Who would ever think this is the same person trusted to dispense medication to patients?

Anyway his left field conversation had me thinking about the ramifications of one of his days, Gay Shit Friday. What actually constitutes gay shit? My brother did follow with saying that even though it was Gay Shit Friday you couldn’t do anything too gay. Is this one of things you can’t put your finger on but when you see it you know? I’m confused! What I imagined was a day when all the guys ran around the school screaming, “How you doing,” in the Wendy Williams’ voice. But unlike when Wendy does it, it’s not that funny. Or maybe its not even funny when she does it, me no know.

Would it be funny if kids of the Caucasian persuasion strolled around in do-rags with saggy jeans and said don’t worry it’s ok because it’s Black Shit Thursday. Of course yesterday Black Twitter was trending and I saw a few saying that Black Twitter would be called Twidda and instead of a direct message it would be holla at me. I chuckled but it wasn’t a pot belly laugh…what are they trying to say o_O! I already see the outline of Al Sharpton’s process coming over the horizon. As upset as folk were when Don Imus called the Rutgers women’s basketball team Nappy Headed Hoes, we should be equally outraged that it’s still socially acceptable to ridicule someone because of their sexual orientation. On a personal note, before they ran the Don Imus story and I saw the picture of the team I said, …damn those hookers look rough. It’s the same but different, I know! That was coming from a place of prissy not a place of hate.

Some of this hostility towards homosexuals was lobbed over the fence from generations past. It comes from the whispers of gossiping old ladies named Sophie calling folk bull-dykes and funny. I’ve always been partial to funny myself when used properly as in you know those two women who live together in apartment 24C, well they live together because they’re funny. For added emphasis you must also give a slight but condescending side eye. The Man Wander Married used to try to fill my head with his liquor-induced mumbo jumbo about homosexuals. Granted his misguidance and resulting hostility sprouted from an unfortunate almost incident. Homosexual is not equal to pedophile. Even though a pedophile can be a homosexual a homosexual is not always a pedophile. A lot of people struggle with that last part.

News flash, gay doesn’t rub off. I constantly hear uninformed men, say don’t bring that gay stuff around me. Hello, gay isn’t the flu. If a homosexual sneezes gayness isn’t released into the air for you to inhale. You won’t wake up the next day with a sore throat and a hard on for Mechad Brooks. You should cause he’s haute and I’d totally understand if in a moment of weakness you Googled naked pictures of him. I’m not saying I have but I wouldn’t be mad at you if you did. I’m secure enough to admit that I have a girl crush on Sanaa Lathan. I feel no type of way admitting that. I think she’s the bees knees!

Maybe that’s an easier thing for a woman to admit. Either way, iCan’t with that kind of overly negative attitude about something that has no impact on your life. Why do you care so much about what other folks are doing with their downtown bonanzas? Is this a case of you protesting too much? You’re free to twirl right on out that closet, I won’t be mad at you. Besides I have too much life happening to me to on the regular to be over occupied with the lifestyles of others. Note I didn’t say choices.

It never made any sense to me that someone would choose to be gay. Clearly there have to be bennies as there are with every other thing in life, outside of being Carrot Top. Who would ever chose to be hated? Some people are gluttons for punishment but that’s just masochism to a whole other level…not sure anyone’s getting their jollies this way? Pure physical attraction, while shaped by our experience, is uncontrollable. You can choose not to act on your attraction but that doesn’t make the itch go away. Ultimately you’re denying a part of something that makes you, you and that’s just sad.

At the heart of talking sideways about homosexuals is a fear of difference. To dismiss this would be wrong on my part. But different doesn’t equal wrong. Different is simply that. You don’t have to understand or agree with someone else’s life completely to show respect. Besides there’s a bigger issue to deal with these days, Donald Trump is running for president.

What says you, how do you feel about homosexuality? Do you allow your friends to make off color jokes? Are you bothered when people use the word faggot or dyke?

2 Responses to “Hashish My Brother Says – Remember Mismatch Monday?”
  1. The Insane Asylum (Mr. Chap) says:

    If a parent, teacher, or any human rights group ever heard about something called “Gay Sh*t Friday” nowadays, the news would be all over it.

    I don’t talk about or look down on homosexuality. I have my own views about it and I don’t try to force my opinions on anyone. Wait, yes I do, but not about that though. If I’m around for an off-color joke, i don’t laugh. And I’m bothered when people use faggot or dyke. To me, those are hardcore words to describe a gay person.

    • Faith M. says:

      Yes one is definitely going hard in the paint when using those terms. I have to catch myself sometimes because I do have a vicious tongue despite my bunny like demeanor, LOL! But being friends with people from all walks of life you become sensitive to the things that they are sensitive to. Before having friends diagnosed with HIV I was indifferent to the jokes but now it cuts me just as deep as hearing off color things said about black folk.

      I think it truly would depend on where the school was located for the human rights groups to be all over the story. The teachers would probably kill it once they got wind but at some podunk school in the inner city of Philly, doubtful for the news media or human rights. I’ve been wrong before though!

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