Hashish My Brother Says – Sheeeeeed I’d Do It For $50

Money makes folk do crazy things...

From time to time when my friends and I get bored we play the game, would you perform X for X dollars. Besides coming up with nutrageous scenarios you learn some interesting things about the people with whom you keep company. Friendships have been broken over the game, ask The Best Friend about Granny Panties. After debating the merits of sleeping with a woman you know versus a woman that you don’t know we somehow landed on siblings or close relatives, insert TLB. Besides learning about my best friends’ budding attraction for The Little Brother, I concluded they’re also morally reprehensible. I need to trade these bishes in for different models. I can’t blame TLB’s reaction because well he’s a man and they’re always held to lower standards.

This conversation with my brother took place over the phone:

TLB: Chello Casanova of the Ghetto
Me: Boy you stooopid
TLB: I know, what’s up?
Me: So, for 5 million dollars would you have sex with Nurse Friend or The Best Friend?
TLB: Ha ha ha ha….hell yeah!
Me: Seriously? They’re my friends.
TLB: I’m broke…you crazy, so you wouldn’t sleep with Gray Patch?
Me: No!
TLB: You crazy Faith. Sheed I’d do it for $50 ha ha ha ha!

As I always say arguing with his logic is futile. Later he confided he’d probably sleep with Nurse Friend for free but The Best Friend would have to come up with the fifty. I wasn’t sure if he was being serious or just pulling my chain. I hope he knows this bet is from the world of Make Believe. I didn’t dare ask him about Model Friend but I fear the answer on his part would be the same. Model Friend, unlike those other raggedy heifers, I have faith would say no.

My friends said I was being melodramatic and morally uptight. These incestuous banshees had the nerve to accuse me of being morally uptight. Morally uptight deez! iCan’t with them thinking it’s ok for any amount of money to sleep with my little brother. I got real serious real quick on them hoes. I was like oh no you didn’t say you were gonna slide slide slippity slide with my little brohem. Y’all just nasty hussies! Cackling ensued but I was all the way serious.

Nurse Friend had me simmering even more when she dropped the wager to $100k. Seriously though, my little brother, to which she responded I was acting like he was ugly or something and she’s trying to get out of debt. If that’s all it takes to get her in the sack I know a few good men, I’m just saying. Just for shits and giggles I threw the $50 dollars up in the air. I didn’t see either The Best or Nurse Friend back down, which had me thinking what they would do for a Klondike bar. iStruggle!!!

Maybe I am being morally uptight. But I feel there are some lines my chicas shouldn’t cross. Sexy time should never be had with certain members of my family or folks I’ve had certain experiences.

  • Any member of my immediate family is all the way off limits – this includes my brother, sister or mom. I could care less about my dad but I’d hope my friends had better taste.
  • My exes – just the ones I’ve actually played grown-up with, the random one offs are perfectly legit conquests
  • Identified crushes – yeah if anyone I know sleeps with Amir Khan I will hate on her in person and all across the innawebs. Expect her Facebook and Twitter timelines to look like this: I HATE U BISH, YOU GREASY HOE!

Oh yeah I go hard in the paint!

After going half ape-shit on my friends they too had to acknowledge there are folks in their lives that they’d be equally upset if I took for the forbidden dance. It was agreed mutually that exes are off the table. Our taste is dissimilar so I doubt this would ever be an issue but just in case it was made very plain it’s a slap-able offense.

And really it’s not so much the act that upsets me as much as the aftermath. I can’t look one of my friends in the face after she does the Saturday morning walk of shame from my brother’s room no less. What am I supposed to do with that, ask her if she wants pancakes and turkey sausage? That’s not what it’s made for. We can’t hang after that. Every time we talk about the freaky sneaky I’ll be wondering if she’s referring to something my brother did…how uncomfortable? What if she reveals my brother’s stroke is weak, how am I supposed to deliver that information to TLB. I mean anyone who knows me knows my brother and I are thisclose. I’d be obligated to tell him about his baby stroke…I don’t like awkward conversations.

Maybe I’m making too much of this situation. Would you be bothered if one of your close friends slept with your sibling? Is there anyone in your life that is way off limits for your friends? If one of close friends slept with your siblings or close relative how do you think you’d react?

4 Responses to “Hashish My Brother Says – Sheeeeeed I’d Do It For $50”
  1. Wow…this is one post i DON’T want to be the first to comment on.

    I’m trying hard – no, really hard to see it from your perspective. The only thing I can come up with is I don’t want anyone sleeping with my moms. She can cut that thing off, all I care.

    I got a brother who seven years my junior. If any of my exes wanted to sleep with him, for money or free, I wouldn’t try to stop them.

    I have a lady cuz on my dad’s side (who is like a sister to me) who hooked up with a cousin from my mom’s side. I’m okay with it. Chalk it up to “being a man” and has “lower standards”.

    Funny though, my ex-girlfriend’s best friend posted a positive status to which I replied, “way to go babe”. My ex inboxed me (we went together in like, the 6th grade) and said, “if you call her ‘babe’ again’, you’re gonna have a problem. My ex btw has been married for 10 years…and she was serious about what she said.

    • Faith M. says:

      LOL at the you’re gonna have a problem. Women are possessive! Actually my post was more in jest than anything else but I do think I would feel some type of way if my best friend slept with my brother. I know her secrets and I know my brother’s secrets and just the thought of those secrets coming together just seems icky. I have no other way to explain it.

  2. Well….lemme see here….

    I’on’t want NO PARTS of nobody & nathan that’s ever gone near the Little Sis. I have, however, been crushed out beyond belief by someone the Older Sis did almost a decade prior. Couldn’t go through with it though. We just kept the flirting fun.

    & I’ve had more than 1 attraction to friends of, but not past pieces. Even those I kept secret while gettin thick round the thighs off Mr. Goodbars.

    • Faith M. says:

      See I’m glad someone understands where I’m coming from. iCan’t even think about anyone who’s had any part of my lil sister. The thought of that alone kind of makes me want to throw up in my mouth. The good thing is I likes them darkies and my sister is all about the lite skins.

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