Maybe Congress Should Try A Little Downward Facing Dog

One of my favorite yoga asanas is downward facing dog. My instructor always brings the class back to this simple posture because it gives us a minute to collectively catch our breath and prepare for the next set of moves. It deeply stretches the back, opens the chest, and builds upper body strength while stimulating the brain and nervous system. Basically besides increasing our flexibility in small increments it refocuses our minds…clarity is a powerful tool!

As I’ve come to realize, over the past few weeks of hearing about The Man’s looming shutdown, they’d benefit from some clarity postures. It would increase their blood flow upwards from their arses. Now to locate that suggestion box, anywho I find it downright perplexing that a group of polished baboons seemingly educated folk can’t come to a sound or even unsound conclusion about the budget. And I finally figured out why; they have no skin in the game.

Aside from having no skin in the game they also suffer from Dunning-Kruger effect!

Exsqueeze the consultant-ease, skin in the game simply means being directly impacted by the consequences of your actions. Outside of interpersonal relationships where directly being impacted works inversely, being vested in business decision makes meeting deadlines oh so necessary. Staff at any other organization can’t tell their boss (because unbeknown to the public we are the true bosses of The Man if we got off of our collective humps) I’m shutting it down for a few until I can get my head back in the game. While I’m doing it I expect that you’ll continue to pay me handsomely and shower me with employee of the month placards. Someone’s stepping outside of his employee/manager relationship and bending us over, Vaseline-less no Adebesi.

While elected idiots on both sides of the bipartisan spectrum continue cashing checks off the tax payers backs and doing lunch on Martha’s Vineyard approximately 800,000 government workers including our men and women in arms won’t. And even more disgusting if the new budget isn’t backdated, any wages missed while the suited imps congress shucked and jived, will be lost forever. How do you like them apples? Oh you don’t well we’ve been kicking off our shoes and relaxing our feet for a while now in an ignorance is bliss state of mind, hoping our elected officials would do their jobs. Guess that’s not working out too well.

At the end of the day the people who suffer the most from government interruption have already been dropkicked by life. They are the children of single mothers. They are severely ill and the elderly. They are veterans and enlisted men and women whose bloodshed enables us to sit and watch Pauly D smush hoes on Jersey Shore. They are in one word, innocents in another, neighbors. It’s not some hoodrat named LaKeisha doing gutter butt things that you laugh at and tell your children never to become. That’s a pill most could swallow with no chaser because then you can conveniently subtract yourself from the equation and say see that doesn’t affect me. Wrong, little grasshopper! That’s right we’re at risk too when The Man gives us his ass to kiss. I don’t know about you but I’m not into kissing ass, it goes against my moral compass.

Believe me I don’t have any answers. I’m just a loud mouth with an opinion like so many others. But I’m also someone who understands that I don’t have to agree with your ideology to come to a reasonable decision. Hell my ideology is several standard deviations from the 50-year-old stiff shirts I work with on a regular but pleated suit pants aside we make hard decisions everyday. Why, because that’s our job and we’re vested! We know if we go rogue on some non-consensus hashish we can kiss our jobs bye byes. And with my job going bye byes I wave fare thee well to uck me pumps and that my friend ain’t what it’s made for. So congress shit or get off the pot. If you’re incapable of living up to your grownup obligations Jonas Brothers leave your cojones at the door and walk away. Come back when you grow a pair or not.

Not surprising, one of the major points of contention in the budget, federal money assisting Planned Parenthood. For the delusional and misguided Planned Parenthood = Abortion. Abortion isn’t pretty but neither is War, which also kills babies don’tcha know…but that doesn’t matter because it’s been stipulated for years that none of the federal money provided to Planned Parenthood by The Man can be allocated towards abortion. Explain the problem to me again? No seriously break it down to me like a three year old because I’m missing the point.

Congress is getting lost in a clover field of politics thinking they’ll come out with a pot of gold. Well they won’t so stop looking for leprechauns cause they’re not real. We know you’re egomaniacs but don’t create confusion to maintain political control. Shit go into a dimly lit room bust out a couple asanas to get the blood flowing and craft a deal. Hell I’m even OK with the I did not have sexual relations with that woman style of politics if it allows for two minutes of happy place after glowing clarity that will allow for getting er done. As I type this I’m sure there’s at least 2-4 secretaries staring at CEO’s oh-faces. Experience tells me that happy people with clear minds tend to make better decisions.

Honestly experience tells me that intelligent people make better decisions but considering the group we’ll have to go with happy.

In all fairness, I’m only 67.5% serious about the happy place. Come on already we’re not talking about a decision that impacts raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens. We’re talking about people! Living, breathing just trying to make a dollar out of fifteen-cent people! What are those 800,000 fathers and mothers going to tell their children, sorry The Man’s taking some me time so you’ll have to eat retroactively BBM sad face!

What do you think? Am I oversimplifying the issues? What are some of your thoughts about the potential government shutdown? Do you think this is just politics as usual as campaign season gets fired up?

Side note: if you haven’t gotten your taxes in yet you better e-file cause the IRS is closing down suga bear!

4 Responses to “Maybe Congress Should Try A Little Downward Facing Dog”
  1. cardiogirl says:

    Excellent analogy — “I’m shutting it down for a few until I can get my head back in the game. While I’m doing it I expect that you’ll continue to pay me handsomely and shower me with employee of the month placards.”

    Wouldn’t that be an awesome option at work? Yes. It. Would.

    • Faith M. says:

      Hola CG, if it’s good enough for our elected officials I say it’s good enough for me. Now I just need to set up a meeting with HR, I let you know how it goes, LOL!

  2. That was truly awesome on so many levels. I love the Dunning-Kruger reference. That reminded me of a conversation I had last night with a guy whose area of expertise is swimming pools and swimming pool installation. He tried to tell me that the reason why a movie we were watching had to “buffer” (the word I gave him) because there were too many devices being used on the network (an XBOX and another computer). He doesn’t even own a computer and he hasn’t been setting up networks and specializing in computer repair for the past 10 years (as I have).

    Sorry about the tangent. You hit a nerve. Anyway, I try to talk to people about not wearing their political feelings on their sleeves, especially if they really don’t know how politics operate. I get the most resistance to my “speak” from people whose political affiliation is “Obama”. Not Democrat, not Republican, but Obama. He’s the chief politician of this country and he’s playing the game along with the rest of D.C.

    Great write!


    • Faith M. says:

      Mr. Chap I love wikipedia experts who can tell me a little bit of nothing about a subject and call themselves authorities. Uh no just because you googled how to fix a Mac doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you touch my computer. Side note I hope you put the none networking pool guy in his place.

      Obama just like the rest of the suits in DC are talking campaign artists. They say whatever needs to be said to get elected. At some point they wanted to make a difference but that mindset gets lost in the political machine. And team Obama representatives are the worse. These are typically folks who couldn’t tell you the first thing about politics and only voted for Obama because he’s black.

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